


Pokemon XY Group Chat

by Leafpool101



Category: Pocket Monsters: X & Y | Pokemon X & Y Versions
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Attempt at Humor, Gay, Group Chat Fic, Humor, Minecraft references, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Manon | Mairin, Sexual Humor, Sorry Not Sorry, Trans Male Character, Transgender Trova | Trevor, ages range 15-18, all ships tagged progress throughout the "story", and ash is japanese or something, ash and sawyer play minecraft together and they're hella cute, basically everyone's either gay bi or pan, except for bonnie ofc, im not sure about everyone else i just know clemont's french, pop culture references, rated t for sexual humor and cursing, shauna's hispanic bc i said so, someone help prof sycamore he has to deal with all of these children
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2020-06-26 15:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19770790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leafpool101/pseuds/Leafpool101
Summary: smolbean.but.mean: suck my ten inch toeashfrompallettown: pee pee poo pooThankYouScience: what even is this chat anymore smhbluehair-dontcare: I want to die





	1. date milkshakes and girls being jealous

**Author's Note:**

> Hey welcome to this garbage pokemon group chat. Please, read the tags (IT TELLS YOU EVERYTHING U NEED TO KNOW FOR THIS STORY.) Anyways, characters are aged up and in high school, except for bonnie ofc. Enjoy!
> 
> Usernames:  
> Prof. Sycamore- TheOfficialKalosProfessor  
> Ash- ashfrompallettown  
> Serena- _truekalosqueen_  
> Clemont- ThankYouScience  
> Bonnie- smolbean.but.mean  
> Shauna- shauna-the-lesbian  
> Tierno- totallynottierno  
> Trevor- cheeto-puff  
> Sawyer- green-bean  
> Alain- idkwhatimdoinghere  
> Mairin- 15YearsWasted  
> Miette- bluehair-dontcare  
> Nini- nini_is_trying

**_TheOfficialKalosProfessor_ ** _ created a chat! _

**_TheOfficialKalosProfessor_ ** _ added  _ **_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ ,  _ **__truekalosqueen__ ** _ , _ **_ThankYouScience_ ** _ ,  _ **_smolbean.but.mean_ ** _ ,  _ **_shauna-the-lesbian_ ** _ ,  _ **_totallynottierno_ ** _ ,  _ **_cheeto-puff_ ** _ ,  _ **_green-bean_ ** _ ,  _ **_idkwhatimdoinghere_ ** _ ,  _ **_15YearsWasted_ ** _ ,  _ **_bluehair-dontcare_ ** _ , and  _ **_nini_is_trying_ ** _ to the chat! _

**TheOfficialKalosProfessor:** Hello students! I’ve created a group chat for everyone so we can talk about life and share experiences with each other! This group chat will be a way for all of you to bond with your fellow trainers, so please get along and have fun :D

**TheOfficialKalosProfessor:** Also I will be monitoring this from my computer so behave ;)

**_TheOfficialKalosProfessor_ ** _ left the chat! _

**_truekalosqueen_:** someone tell me why that winking face was so intimidating

**15YearsWasted:** I’m actually scared hold up lemme go check outside my window since I’m paranoid now

**ashfrompallettown:** YAY GROUP CHAT

**shauna-the-lesbian:** wow ash

**shauna-the-lesbian:** that’s a REALLY creative username

**ashfrompallettown:** SHUT UP SHAUNA I’M TRYING

**ThankYouScience:** he’s trying shauna let’s let him try

**ashfrompallettown:** I FEEL LIKE I’M BEING BULLIED :(

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** ash did u accidentally break the caps lock or something what is happening with u

**ashfrompallettown:** idk man

**ashfrompallettown:** i’m having a rough day

**green-bean:** explain

**bluehair-dontcare:** well damn

**bluehair-dontcare:** that was a fast reply

**ashfrompallettown:** have u guys ever

**ashfrompallettown:** eaten a date

**cheeto-puff:** !?

**cheeto-puff:** please tell me you’re talking about the fruit because I am very concerned right now

**ashfrompallettown:** the fruit

**cheeto-puff:** oh thank god

**ashfrompallettown:** don’t worry

**ashfrompallettown:** I would never eat clemont

**ashfrompallettown:** at least not in the way you think ;)

**ThankYouScience:** !?

**cheeto-puff:** i’m concerned for a whole new reason now

**15YearsWasted:** #AshKetchumIsTakenConfirmed

**nini_is_trying:** I just heard millions of hearts break

**shauna-the-lesbian:** ASH CONTINUE WITH THE STORY IDC ABOUT UR LOVE LIFE

**ashfrompallettown:** right

**ashfrompallettown:** anyways I ate a date today

**ashfrompallettown:** and it was actually pretty good despite it being an old lady food

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** that still doesn’t explain why your day was bad

**ashfrompallettown:** I’M GETTING THERE

**ashfrompallettown:** anyways the date store sells date milkshakes

**ashfrompallettown:** and I really wanted to try one so I DID

**ashfrompallettown:** but then I got a really bad stomach ache

**ashfrompallettown:** and then I realized

**ashfrompallettown:** i’m lactose intolerant

**totallynottierno:** :o

**bluehair-dontcare:** join the fucking club spiky hair

**_TheOfficialKalosProfessor_ ** _ joined the chat! _

**TheOfficialKalosProfessor:** LANGUAGE MIETTE

**bluehair-dontcare:** !?

**bluehair-dontcare:** how did u even see that!?

**TheOfficialKalosProfessor:** Like I said

**TheOfficialKalosProffesor:** I’m monitoring the chat ;)

**bluehair-dontcare:** I don’t understand

**ThankYouScience:** DON’T QUESTION SCIENCE MIETTE

**bluehair-dontcare:** i’m pretty sure that’s not how that works but go off I guess

**TheOfficialKalosProfessor:** Continue with your story, Ash

**ashfrompallettown:** right

**ashfrompallettown:** anyways, so after I realized this I also realized that I had a huge glass of milk this morning and it didn’t affect me at all

**ashfrompallettown:** and that’s the story of how I got food poisoning from a date store

**green-bean:** HOLD UP

**ashfrompallettown:** yis?

**green-bean:** UR NOT ACTUALLY LACTOSE INTOLERANT????

**ashfrompallettown:** yes

**green-bean:** SCREW U KETCHUM

**green-bean:** U GET TO LIVE THE BEST LIFE

**ashfrompallettown:** ;)

**bluehair-dontcare:** well

**bluehair-dontcare:** since ash’s story sucked

**ashfrompallettown:** :(

**bluehair-dontcare:** does anyone else have any tea to spill?

**shauna-the-lesbian:** actually

**shauna-the-lesbian:** is it okay if I vent?

**totallynottierno:** shauna???

**bluehair-dontcare:** yea sure go ahead bb

**bluehair-dontcare:** we’re all listening

**shauna-the-lesbian:** okay…

**shauna-the-lesbian:** THE SONG SEÑORITA MAKES NO SENSE IN TRANSLATION

**totallynottierno:** oh my god

**cheeto-puff:** you actually had us worried for nothing

**shauna-the-lesbian:** SHUT UP GUYS THIS IS A SERIOUS TOPIC

**cheeto-puff:** .-.

**shauna-the-lesbian:** SHE SAYS “I LIKE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME SEÑORITA”

**shauna-the-lesbian:** BUT SEÑORITA IN SPANISH IS JUST THE EQUIVALENT TO MA’AM OR MISS

**shauna-the-lesbian:** YOU LIKE IT WHEN HE SAYS SOMETHING IN SPANISH TO YOU!?

**shauna-the-lesbian:** OR DO YOU JUST LIKE IT WHEN HE HAS  _ MANNERS _ !?!?!?!?

**cheeto-puff:** shauna im actually begging you to shut up

**shauna-the-lesbian:** NO

**shauna-the-lesbian:** PLUS, IN THE SONG, SHAWN MENDES ALSO SAYS “I LIKE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME SEÑORITA”

**shauna-the-lesbian:** SO SHAWN WANTS TO BE CALLED MA’AM NOW TOO!?!?!?!?

**shauna-the-lesbian:** THAT’S A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF KINKY

**shauna-the-lesbian:** ALSO SHAWN MENDES IS HELLA WHITE WHY TF IS HE EVEN SINGING THIS SONG!?!?!?!?

**TheOfficialKalosProfessor:** Shauna please keep it PG

**TheOfficialKalosProfessor:** Also watch the language

**shauna-the-lesbian:** NO

**shauna-the-lesbian:** AND THEN CAMILLA AND HER BOYFRIEND BROKE UP OVER A STUPID SONG

**shauna-the-lesbian:** AND NOW THE WHOLE INTERNET SHIPS SHAWN AND CAMILLA

**shauna-the-lesbian:** LIKE

**shauna-the-lesbian:** I DON’T KNOW  _ WHAT _ KIND OF KINKY STUFF YOU THINK SHAWN AND CAMILLA GET UP TO

**shauna-the-lesbian:** BUT THE ONLY KINK HAPPENING IN THEIR BEDROOM ARE SOME GOD DAMN MANNERS

**green-bean:** IM CRYING SOMEONE PLEASE SEND HELP

**ashfrompallettown:** IM COMING WITH TISSUES!

**green-bean:** thanks :,)

**_truekalosqueen_:** im-

**smolbean.but.mean:** jesus has left the chat

**ThankYouScience:** FHDGFSGSG

**totallynottierno:** shauna gets mad about white people trying to sing a spanish song: a story of hope

**green-bean:** IM SCREAMING

**ashfrompallettown:** sawyer actually can’t stop laughing someone come get their child

**_truekalosqueen_:** wait ash ur actually at sawyer’s house rn?

**ashfrompallettown:** u think I would lie about that?

**ashfrompallettown:** im hurt serena :,(

**bluehair-dontcare:** that was fast :/

**totallynottierno:** serena and miette get jealous over their crush hanging out w/ his bff: a story of hope

**_truekalosqueen_:** shUT UP TIERNO

**green-bean:** awww ash i’m ur bff?

**ashfrompallettown:** ofc :)

**bluehair-dontcare:** ew

**nini_is_trying:** hey miette

**nini_is_trying:** would u like some jelly with that peanut butter sandwich ;3

**bluehair-dontcare:** SHUT UP NINI

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** wait wait wait

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** can we go back to the shawn mendes thing real quick??

**shauna-the-lesbian:** sure

**cheeto-puff:** no

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** shawn mendes wants to be called a miss????

**15YearsWasted:** shawn mendes is transgender confirmed

**smolbean.but.mean:** I KNEW IT

**cheeto-puff:** HA SCREW U GUYS THE TRANS ARMY HAS SHAWN MENDES ON THEIR SIDE

**shauna-the-lesbian:** WELL THE LESBIANS HAVE ELLEN DEGENERES

**shauna-the-lesbian:** SO BEAT THAT

**ashfrompallettown:** guys I think shauna just straight up outed shawn mendes with her song rant

**shauna-the-lesbian:** FHDGSGSFSG

**ThankYouScience:** if shawn mendes really is trans

**ThankYouScience:** wouldn’t shawn be her dead name???

**ashfrompallettown:** oh shit u rite

**ashfrompallettown:** trevs how did u come up w/ ur name???

**cheeto-puff:** a long game of trial and error

**bluehair-dontcare:** he just picked the whitest name in history and went with it

**cheeto-puff:** >:(

**totallynottierno:** nahh trevor’s a cute name

**totallynottierno:** I like it, it really fits him

**shauna-the-lesbian:** HDGDGSFSF

**totallynottierno:** ??

**shauna-the-lesbian:** I’M SORRY

**shauna-the-lesbian:** I THINK MY HEART JUST WENT ‘UWU’

**cheeto-puff:** shauna delete ur existence

**shauna-the-lesbian:** no u

**ashfrompallettown:** guys

**ashfrompallettown:** that’s gay

**totallynottierno:** that’s funny coming from u ash

**ashfrompallettown:** shit u got me there

**TheOfficialKalosProfessor:** LANGUAGE

**smolbean.but.mean:** wait what???

**nini_is_trying:** ash is gay confirmed????

**_truekalosqueen_:** nooooo

**_truekalosqueen_:** ash isn’t gay he just makes jokes

**_truekalosqueen_:** right, ash?

**_truekalosqueen_:** RIGHT, ASH!?!?!?

**ashfrompallettown:** sure

**ashfrompallettown:** let’s go with that

**_truekalosqueen_:** A S H !?!?!!?!?!

**cheeto-puff:** and i oop-

**shauna-the-lesbian:** trevor I hope ur parents abandon u

**cheeto-puff:** WELL JOKES ON YOU

**cheeto-puff:** THEY ALREADY DID

**shauna-the-lesbian:** oh wait I forgot about that

**totallynottierno:** hOW DO YOU FORGET FHGDGSGSF

**shauna-the-lesbian:** SORRY TIERNO BUT I’M NOT OBSESSED WITH TREVOR’S LIFE UNLIKE YOU APPARENTLY

**green-bean:** and i oop-

**_truekalosqueen_:** that’s the tea sis  ☕ ️

**ashfrompallettown:** when u spill that tea  😩😩💕💕🥵🤭🤧🤧🤧👏👏🥵🥵😩

**ThankYouScience:** ash wtf

**15YearsWasted:** guys I have a new challenge

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** mairin im done with ur dumb ass challenges

**15YearsWasted:** :o

**nini_is_trying:** #exposed

**15YearsWasted:** no but seriously this one’s good

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** FINE what is it

**15YearsWasted:** say something really stupid that makes people really uncomfortable

**Idkwhatimdoinghere:** oh no

**15YearsWasted:** i’ll go first

**15YearsWasted:** moisturized toes

**ThankYouScience:** i already hate this

**shauna-the-lesbian:** oooohhhh this sounds like fun

**shauna-the-lesbian:** cow titties

**totallynottierno:** ew

**totallynottierno:** shauna you scare me

**shauna-the-lesbian:** ;))

**smolbean.but.mean:** suck my ten inch toe

**ashfrompallettown:** pee pee poo poo

**ThankYouScience:** what even is this chat anymore smh

**bluehair-dontcare:** _ I want to die _

**green-bean:** when the pp taste good  🥵

**shauna-the-lesbian:** ew

**ashfrompallettown:** is it weird I feel aroused instead of uncomfortable

**green-bean:** ;))

**bluehair-dontcare:** WTF

**totallynottierno:** BAHAHAHAHHA

**cheeto-puff:** TIENRO STOP ENCOURAGING THEM

**shauna-the-lesbian:** tienro

**_totallynottierno_ ** _ changed their username to  _ **_tienro_ ** _! _

**tienro:** this is my life now

**TheOfficialKalosProfessor:** ….

**TheOfficialKalosProfessor:** I’m done trying to keep this PG

**_TheOfficialKalosProfessor_ ** _ left the chat! _

**ThankYouScience:** this chat is such a disaster

**ThankYouScience:** but honestly

**ThankYouScience:** I’m here for it

**nini_is_trying:** I think I just pissed my pants from laughing

**bluehair-dontcare:** ew nini wtf

**ThankYouScience:** never mind


	2. TikTok References and Minecraft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usernames:
> 
> Prof. Sycamore- TheOfficialKalosProfessor   
> Ash- ashfrompallettown  
> Serena- _truekalosqueen_  
> Clemont- ThankYouScience  
> Bonnie- smolbean.but.mean  
> Shauna- shauna-the-lesbian  
> Tierno- tienro  
> Trevor- cheeto-puff  
> Sawyer- green-bean  
> Alain- idkwhatimdoinghere  
> Mairin- 15YearsWasted  
> Miette- bluehair-dontcare  
> Nini- nini_is_trying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !PLEASE READ!  
> So, if you noticed in the tags it says that this is a modern au. Well, I'm gonna change that. This is NOT a modern au just because it messes with the "story" and some of the usernames. This is set in the world of Pokemon (after the Team Flare/Lysandre incident) and it's an au where everyone (including ash) decided to stay in Kalos because Kalos is awesome.  
> Anyways, enjoy!!!

**nini_is_trying:** hit or miss

**tienro:** I guess she took the kids huh

**nini_is_trying:** not what I was expecting but okay

**shauna-the-lesbian:** guys please stop making tiktok references im trying to sleep

**bluehair-dontcare:** shauna

**bluehair-dontcare:** it’s 1 in the afternoon

**shauna-the-lesbian:** your point?

**bluehair-dontcare:** im-

**ashfrompallettown:** I feel u shauna

**shauna-the-lesbian:** thx ash

**_truekalosqueen_:** why lol

**ashfrompallettown:** I ended up spending the night @ sawyer’s house

**ashfrompallettown:** and we stayed up til like 4 am watching naruto and playing minecraft

**ThankYouScience:** oh my lord

**15YearsWasted:** that sounds like the dream life ngl

**green-bean:** ash

**ashfrompallettown:** ye

**green-bean:** u should play minecraft w/ me

**ashfrompallettown:** of course bb

**bluehair-dontcare:** can y’all stop joking like that

**ashfrompallettown:** like what

**green-bean:** yeah like what miette

**bluehair-dontcare:** like jokingly flirting

**bluehair-dontcare:** I know y’all think it’s super funny

**bluehair-dontcare:** but it’s really not so please stop

**ashfrompallettown:** who said we’re joking ;)

**bluehair-dontcare:** …

**nini_is_trying:** spell it with me now kids!

**nini_is_trying:** give me a J!

**shauna-the-lesbian:** J!

**nini_is_trying:** give me an E!

**15YearsWasted:** E!

**nini_is_trying:** give me an A!

**tienro:** A!

**nini_is_trying:** give me an L!

**cheeto-puff:** L!

**nini_is_trying:** give me an O!

**smolbean.but.mean:** O!

**nini_is_trying:** give me a U!

**shauna-the-lesbian:** U!

**nini_is_trying:** give me an S!

**ThankYouScience:** S!

**nini_is_trying:** what does that spell?

**bluehair-dontcare:** go fuck yourself

**nini_is_trying:** only if it’s from you bb <3

**bluehair-dontcare:** what

**nini_is_trying:** what

**green-bean:** hey guys what should I name my minecraft dog

**ashfrompallettown:** pee pee poo poo

**green-bean:** _ you’re really about to make me name my dog pee pee poo poo _

**ashfrompallettown:** yea why not

**green-bean:** that’s fair

**cheeto-puff:** y’all are honestly so cute im dying

**_truekalosqueen_:** yeah but u wanna know who’s cuter

**cheeto-puff:** who?

**_truekalosqueen_:** benji and jeyjey

**cheeto-puff:** YES

**cheeto-puff:** I WOULD DIE FOR THEM

**shauna-the-lesbian:** y’all need to get off tiktok I stg

**cheeto-puff:** no

**cheeto-puff:** fight me shauna

**shauna-the-lesbian:** fight me m8

**tienro:** please don’t ever say that again

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** this chat is boring

**15YearsWasted:** gOSH ALAIN STOP BEING A DEBBY DOWNER

**bluehair-dontcare:** no he’s right this is boring

**bluehair-dontcare:** I want something interesting to happen

**green-bean:** guys im gay

**ThankYouScience:** honey we been knew

**green-bean:** oh

**shauna-the-lesbian:** HONEY!!!!?!?!??!

**bluehair-dontcare:** there’s the tea

**ThankYouScience:** oh no no no no

**ThankYouScience:** it’s NOT like that

**cheeto-puff:** my gaydar says ur lying

**tienro:** “gaydar” lol this is why I love u

**cheeto-puff:** what

**tienro:** what

**15YearsWasted:** clemont x sawyer confirmed????

**smolbean.but.mean:** wait WHAT???

**smolbean.but.mean:** my brother?????

**smolbean.but.mean:** and sawyer???? :000

**ThankYouScience:** Bonnie stop it’s NOT like that

**nini_is_trying:** are we just gonna ignore the fact that tierno just said he loved trevor????

**shauna-the-lesbian:** we been knew

**nini_is_trying:** but im seriously interested in this tierno explain urself

**tienro:** uhhh

**ashfrompallettown:** im not gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks amirite

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** ash what the actual fuck

**15YearsWasted:** FFHDGSGSG WHATTTT

**ashfrompallettown:** oh shit

**ashfrompallettown:** bad time?

**bluehair-dontcare:** yea no shit ketchum

**bluehair-dontcare:** so before we expose tierno for liking trevor or whatever

**tienro:** !?

**bluehair-dontcare:** I have a quick question I need to ask

**bluehair-dontcare:** ash are u actually gay??? Because u always make jokes like this and im kinda curious???

**ashfrompallettown:** uhhh

**_truekalosqueen_:** c’mon miette don’t pressure him into talking about things he prob doesn’t wanna talk about

**ashfrompallettown:** no no it’s fine

**ashfrompallettown:** im actually bi miette

**ashfrompallettown:** but thanks for asking

**15YearsWasted:** there was so much shade in that sentence

**ashfrompallettown:** nOoOoO nO sHaDe aT aLL

**_truekalosqueen_:** WAIT ASH!?

**ashfrompallettown:** ye

**_truekalosqueen_:** UR BI TOO!?

**ashfrompallettown:** FHDHDGGSSG YESSSS

**shauna-the-lesbian:** omg

**_truekalosqueen_:** what was ur awakening mine was when I realized I had a crush on both star lord and gamora

**cheeto-puff:** HGSGDGD

**cheeto-puff:** ICONIC

**ashfrompallettown:** well at first I had a crush on one of my childhood friends, who’s a girl

**ashfrompallettown:** but then I saw sawyer’s ass and I was like DAYUMMM

**smolbean.but.mean:** good lord jesus please help us

**bluehair-dontcare:** ASH STOPPP

**ashfrompallettown:** no thank you

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** ash r u on crack or something what is wrong w/ u

**green-bean:** no he’s just always like this

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** well tell him to stop being stupid

**_truekalosqueen_:** ash stop being stupid

**ashfrompallettown:** yes ma’am

**ashfrompallettown:** wait can I say one more stupid thing first

**shauna-the-lesbian:** sure

**ashfrompallettown:** meet me tonight at 8pm sawyer bb <3<3<3

**green-bean:** oh my lord

**bluehair-dontcare:** …

**_bluehair-dontcare_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**cheeto-puff:** im gonna show u

**cheeto-puff:** loco maniac

**tienro:** sick bitch psychopath

**cheeto-path:** im gonna show u

**tienro:** im gonna show uuuuu

**cheeto-puff:** yea im gonna show u

**shauna-the-lesbian:** #relationshipgoals

**cheeto-puff:** STOPPP

**15YearsWasted:** exposed????

**_truekalosqueen_:** tiktok will be the death of me

**shauna-the-lesbian:** ew cringe

**_truekalosqueen_:** cringe culture is dead

**nini_is_trying:** obvi ash and sawyer were just playing minecraft a few minutes ago

**ashfrompallettown:** we still are

**nini_is_trying:** wow

**tienro:** also the fact that nini just said “obvi”

**nini_is_trying** : LEAVE ME ALONE TIERNO IM TRYING

**ashfrompallettown:** haha coz the username

**ashfrompallettown:** that’s funny

**ThankYouScience:** Ash why are you an actual disappointment

**ashfrompallettown:** ☹

**green-bean:** ash is playing don’t mine at night and im scared

**shauna-the-lesbian:** oo what a bop

**green-bean:** shauna pls don’t encourage him

**tienro:** got my helmet on my head

**ashfrompallettown:** figure out what that zombie said

**15YearsWasted:** lava all over the room

**smolbean.but.mean:** got a half-heart left man I am doomed

**shauna-the-lesbians:** don’t have any iron bars

**cheeto-puff:** my pick just broke into some shards

**nini_is_trying:** scary noise what should I do

**_truekalosqueen_:** go left or right ill have to choose

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** why does everyone know this

**15YearsWasted:** hush alain things are happening

**ashfrompallettown:** visions of last time flash inside my mind

**shauna-the-lesbian:** im scared oh well

**tienro:** and im pretty sure there’s a big creeper right there

**nini_is_trying:** DON’T MINE AT NIGHT

**ashfrompallettown:** I KNOW UR LOOKING AT THAT CAVE

**tienro:** AND YOU’RE FEELING KINDA BRAVE

**smolbean.but.mean:** GO TO BED YOU’LL BE ALRIGHT

**15YearsWasted:** DON’T MINE AT NIGHT

**_truekalosqueen_:** THERE’S NOTHING THAT IS GONNA CHANGE

**shauna-the-lesbian:** IF U JUST WAIT UNTIL THE DAY

**ashfrompallettown:** ZOMBIES WANNA EAT UR BRAINS

**tienro:** DON’T MINE AT NIGHT

**green-bean:** _ everyone here is going to hell _

**cheeto-puff:** ugh r00d I already know

**green-bean:** oh

**green-bean:** well then ash is going to hell bc he started this mess

**ashfrompallettown:** fight me green boi

**green-bean:** _ square up ketchup man _

**shauna-the-lesbian:** lover’s quarrel

**_truekalosqueen_:** ew shauna stop

**tienro:** shauna ships everything there is no stopping her

**shauna-the-lesbian:** u already knowww ;^)

**cheeto-puff:** ew

**green-bean:** GJISYUYS HEEKKLPP

**green-bean:** BEIJVNG AATTAKCCKED

**15YearsWasted:** rip sawyer

**nini_is_trying:** he was a good noodle

**15YearsWasted:** _ A GOOD NOODLE!?!? _

**smolbean.but.mean:** yes mairin it’s spongebob references get with the program

**15YearsWasted:** ah yes

**15YearsWasted:** my mistake

**_truekalosqueen_:** clemont’s been awfully quiet

**ThankYouScience:** im disappointed in everyone here

**cheeto-puff:** that’s fair

**tienro:** sorry mom :,(

**ThankYouScience:** ew stop I am not the mom

**shauna-the-lesbian:** FHDGSGS YES CLEMONT’S THE MOM OF THIS GROUP CHAT

**_shauna-the-lesbian_ ** _ changed  _ **_ThankYouScience_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_Mother_ ** _! _

**Mother:** shauna why are you like this

**shauna-the-lesbian:** idk

**shauna-the-lesbian:** sorry mom

**green-bean:** guys help ash is literally laying on top of me

**green-bean:** I cant breathe

**green-bean:** WHY IS HE SO HEAVY

**tienro:** is ash heavy or is sawyer just weak  🤔

**green-bean:** a little bit of both ngl

**green-bean:** ASH GET OFFFF

**green-bean:** CLEMONT HELP

**Mother:** that’s his way of showing affection

**green-bean:** TELL HIM IT HURTS

**Mother:** ash ur hurting him

**ashfrompallettown:** sorry bb <3<3

**green-bean:** its okay uwu

**shauna-the-lesbian:** you two are so cute yall should just date

**green-bean:** no

**ashfrompallettown:** no u

**shauna-the-lesbian:** _ what does that even mean _

**smolbean.but.mean:** someone add miette back seeing her get jealous was funny

**Mother:** bonnie no

**smolbean.but.mean:** *bonnie yes

**nini_is_trying:** I gotchu

**_nini_is_trying_ ** _ added  _ **_bluehair-dontcare_ ** _ to the chat! _

**bluehair-dontcare:** ew why am I back here

**nini_is_trying:** because we missed you uwu

**bluehair-dontcare:** did u really

**shauna-the-lesbian:** no we just wanted the tea

**bluehair-dontcare:** thx for being honest shauna

**shauna-the-lesbian:** np

**tienro:** hey guys I think im gay for trevor

**cheeto-puff:** …

**ashfrompallettown:** …

**_truekalosqueen_:** …

**green-bean:** …

**smolbean.but.mean:** …

**shauna-the-lesbian:** …

**15YearsWasted:** …

**bluehair-dontcare:** …

**nini_is_trying:** …

**Mother:** …

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** …

**tienro:** oh shit wrong chat sorry

**shauna-the-lesbian:** FFHDGSGSG


	3. Love Confessions and Gamer Bath Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usernames:
> 
> Prof. Sycamore- TheOfficialKalosProfessor   
> Ash- ashfrompallettown  
> Serena- _truekalosqueen_  
> Clemont- Mother  
> Bonnie- smolbean.but.mean  
> Shauna- shauna-the-lesbian  
> Tierno- tienro  
> Trevor- cheeto-puff  
> Sawyer- green-bean  
> Alain- idkwhatimdoinghere  
> Mairin- 15YearsWasted  
> Miette- bluehair-dontcare  
> Nini- nini_is_trying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is kinda rushed and cringe-worthy, but I wanted to get something out before I go on vacation. I'm leaving for Nevada tomorrow, so I'll be inactive for a couple of days, but I will be working on this and a new chapter of Is This More Than You Bargained For (I'm still kinda stuck on Alpha World idk what to write next .-.)
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!
> 
> (btw this chapter switches between group chats)

  
  
  


_ [shaunee – tierny] _

  
  


**shaunee:** tierno

**shaunee:** explain urself

**tierny:** im-

**tierny:** im so sorry

**shaunee:** EXPLAIN

**tierny:** okay so I meant to send that in the group chat w/ u and serena

**tierny:** bc I’m like 99.9% sure I like trevor

**shaunee:** :o

**tierny:** but I accidentally sent it in the main group chat and now I think Trevor hates me

**shaunee:** PFFTTTT

**tierny:** ITS NOT FUNNY SHAUNA

**shaunee:** honestly ur as dense as ash sometimes

**tierny:** w h a t

**shaunee:** trevor doesn’t hate u

**shaunee:** he has a crush on u dingus

**tierny:** wait what

**shaunee:** yah he told me a long time ago

**shaunee:** tbh I was just waiting for the day y’all got together

**shaunee:** and now it’s finally HAPPENING

**tierny:** wait wait wait

**tierny:** lemme get this straight

**shaunee:** or in ur case gay

**tierny:** SHAUNA

**shaunee:** sry continue

**tierny:** this whole time you KNEW trevor has a crush on me?!?

**tierny:** and u never told me!??!?!?

**shaunee:** it wasn’t my place to tell

**tierny:** o

**tierny:** that’s oddly mature coming from you

**shaunee:** R00D

**shaunee:** anyways

**shaunee:** u better go out there and tell trevor ur FEELINGS before I do myself

**tierny:** okay fine

**tierny:** pp sucker

**shaunee:** ew

**shaunee:** no u

  
  
  


_ [main chat] _

  
  


**ashfrompallettown:** have yall ever swallowed shampoo

**nini_is_trying:** i-

**nini_is_trying:** no???

**ashfrompallettown:** u should try it it’s really good

**Mother:** ignore him Nini he’s just being stupid

**nini_is_trying:** oh I know

**nini_is_trying:** im just…

**nini_is_trying:** c o n c e r n e d

**nini_is_trying:** _ what would you do that to yourself???? _

**ashfrompallettown:** idk

**ashfrompallettown:** I do a lot of things I cant explain

**ashfrompallettown:** like once I jumped into a volcano

**nini_is_trying:** !?!?!!?!?

**cheeto-puff:** I REMEMBER THAT

**nini_is_trying:** _ what the hell!?!?!?!? _

**nini_is_trying:** why do I not witness these acts of stupidity

**_truekalosqueen_:** idk fam maybe ur just not around ash enough

**nini_is_trying:** touché

**nini_is_trying:** but can someone please explain the volcano thing????

**cheeto-puff:** I gotchu fam

**cheeto-puff:** so one time I was heading to this weird mountain/volcano place

**shauna-the-lesbian:** the nameless mountain/volcano place

**cheeto-puff:** SHUT UP SHAUNA I CAN’T REMEMBER THE NAME RN

**cheeto-puff:** anyways im heading there bc it’s rumored that the legendary pokemon moltress lives up there

**cheeto-puff:** and that’s pretty cool so I want a pic

**cheeto-puff:** so as i’m heading there I run into ash and the gang

**smolbean.but.mean:** _ and the gang _

**cheeto-puff:** ugh rude im trying to tell a story

**bluehair-dontcare:** let him finish his story I wanna see where this goes

**cheeto-puff:** thx miette

**cheeto-puff:** so ash and the gang™ decide to come see moltress w/ me at the top of the volcano coz moltress hides in the lava coz that’s a thing

**nini_is_trying:** k

**cheeto-puff:** anyways long story short the dickwads known as team rocket show up and moltress uses this legendary flame thrower to blast them into oblivion

**nini_is_trying:** k

**cheeto-puff:** but then moltress thinks we’re friends with team rocket so he tries to blast us into oblivion but then ash is like “ohhhh hell naw” and he releases one of his pokemon (fletchinder) and they fight the legendary pokemon

**nini_is_trying:** k

**cheeto-puff:** but then fletchinder takes a hit then falls onto a ledge and then ash tries to  _ jump into the volcano _ but then I grab his arm bc we don’t make stupid mistakes in this household

**cheeto-puff:** but then he yells at me for trying not to get him killed and it really hurts my emotions because im  _ sensitive™ _

**nini_is_trying:** oof

**ashfrompallettown:** srry trevs

**cheeto-puff:** its okei

**cheeto-puff:** anyways moltress does try to kill ash and I with a fiery blast (for some reason idk why it was aiming for us in particular????) but then ash’s fletchinder EVOLVES and it stops the blast

**cheeto-puff:** but it still somehow manages to get it’s dumb self fainted

**ashfrompallettown:** r00d

**cheeto-puff:** so the newly evolved talonflame is falling into the volcano

**cheeto-puff:** then ash  _ proceeds to jump _ into the volcano (despite me telling him not too)

**cheeto-puff:** ash manages to grab hold of his talonflame but now they’re both falling

**cheeto-puff:** luckily tho (OUT OF COMPLETE AND ABSOLUTE LUCK MIND YOU) ash’s frogadier was out of it’s pokeball at the time and caught ash and talonflame with it’s weird frubble thing

**cheeto-puff:** and that’s the story of how ash ketchum almost died in front of me

**cheeto-puff:** _ and somehow that wasn’t the last time _

**ashfrompallettown:** FGDGSGSGS

**nini_is_trying:** that…

**nini_is_trying:** that’s eventful

**cheeto-puff:** ikr

**green-bean:** fhdgsgsg why am I just now hearing this story???

**ashfrompallettown:** well it’s not exactly one of my proudest moments

**Mother:** hey ash remember that one time you made a bunch of kids cry because you told them that their pokemon was gonna die

**ashfrompallettown:** SSSHHHHSHGG

**ashfrompallettown:** WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT

**green-bean:** w h a t

**green-bean:** also trevor trying to tell a story is now my new favorite thing don’t @ me

**cheeto-puff:** thank

**nini_is_trying:** _ THANK!?!?!?! _

**15YearsWasted:** just woke up what did I miss

**_truekalosqueen_:** just an entire story of ash being a dumbass

**15YearsWasted:** oh

**15YearsWasted:** whats new

**ashfrompallettown:** low key offended

**ashfrompallettown:** but I was offended but an absolute legend so its okei

**15YearsWasted:** fhhdshsg

**15YearsWasted:** thank

**nini_is_trying:** _ t h a n k _

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** wait wait wait

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** im still trying to process that story trevor told

**ashfrompallettown:** k

**15YearsWasted:** alain caught up on old convos once again

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** hush child

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** so what im getting from that is that here’s how it went down:

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** trevor was like: hey ash, u see that volcano? Don’t jump in it

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** and then ash was like:  _ id like to see u try and stop me u small cheeto puff lookin ass _

**cheeto-puff:** I THINK I JUST HAD A SEIZURE

**ashfrompallettown:** OMG

**ashfrompallettown:** ALAIN

**ashfrompallettown:** UR THE NEW MEME MASTER

**idkwhatimdoinghere:** wait no please

**_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ has changed  _ **_idkwhatimdoinghere_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_MemeMaster_ ** _!  _

**MemeMaster:** ash why are you like this

**_green-bean_ ** _ has changed the chat name to [ _ **_Gaymers_ ** _ ]! _

**15YearsWasted:** iconic

**green-bean:** _ y’all wanna buy my gamer boy bath water _

**ashfrompallettown:** !!

**ashfrompallettown:** hell yeah bb

**shauna-the-lesbian:** why did I just know ash was gonna be the first person to respond to that

**Mother:** ash why the two exclamation marks

**shauna-the-lesbian:** exclamation marks of excitement because he just found out his crush is selling his fucking bath water

**cheeto-puff:** fun fact: there was no human DNA found in belle delphine’s gamer girl bath water

**green-bean:** i-

**green-bean:** _ what?? _

**shauna-the-lesbian:** ew

**15YearsWasted:** how dare you bring that upon this cursed land

**_truekalosqueen_:** …

**_truekalosqueen_:** aNYWAYS

**_truekalosqueen_:** have y’all seen tierno???? He hasn’t even joined the chat

**shauna-the-lesbian:** he should’ve joined a while ago :/

**_tienro_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**tienro:** waddup

**shauna-the-lesbian:** what took u so long

**tienro:** I WAS BUSY

**shauna-the-lesbian:** sure

**tienro:** ANYWAYS

**tienro:** trevs can I talk to u in private??

**cheeto-puff:** sure

**_cheeto-puff_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**_tienro_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**ashfrompallettown:** he only joins to leave again :(

**shauna-the-lesbian:** uwu

**Mother:** shauna what was that for

**shauna-the-lesbian:** you’ll see

**_truekalosqueen_:** SHAUNA WHAT

**shauna-the-lesbian:** òwó

  
  
  


_ [trevs – danceboi] _

  
  


**trevs:** whats up

**danceboi:** okay

**danceboi:** i’m really sorry about yesterday

**trevs:** its okay lol

**danceboi:** no like im REALLY sorry

**danceboi:** I prob made you super uncomfortable and im really sorry for that

**trevs:** its okay and u didn’t make me uncomfortable lol

**trevs:** this might sound weird.. but I was actually kinda happy???

**danceboi:** wut

**trevs:** okay please don’t hate me

**trevs:** but I like u

**trevs:** like more than friends like u

**trevs:** omg this sounds so cheesy im sorry

**danceboi:** no its okay lol

**danceboi:** i meant to send that text to a group chat w/ serena, shauna, and I because I like u too

**trevs:** omg omg

**trevs:** rlly???

**trevs:** ur not joking????

**danceboi:** no lol

**trevs:** dhdgdggdgdgdg

**trevs:** im sorry im so awkward

**trevs:** do u wanna call and talk about this???

**danceboi:** yee

**trevs:** okay lol sorry im so awkward

**danceboi:** its okei

**danceboi:** I think were all a little awkward when it comes to stuff like this

**trevs:** true true

**trevs:** fhfgdggdgdfdfs

**danceboi:** trevs u okay?

**trevs:** yea sorry just having a small seizure

**trevs:** ima call u

**danceboi:** k

  
  
  


[ _ Gaymers _ ]

  
  


**ashfrompallettown:** my neck

**ashfrompallettown:** my back

**ashfrompallettown:** eat some cookies

**ashfrompallettown:** don’t smoke crack

**shauna-the-lesbian:** why did tierno and trevor leave me with this crackhead

**ashfrompallettown:** :(

**green-bean:** but r they dating????

**ashfrompallettown:** who’s dating

**MemeMaster:** tierno and trevor dumbass

**ashfrompallettown:** oh yeah

**ashfrompallettown:** yee they’re totally dating

**smolbean.but.mean:** AGREED

**Mother:** Bonnie please

**_truekalosqueen_:** ARE THEY DATING

**nini_is_trying:** I NEED TO KNOW

**_truekalosqueen_:** I 👏 NEED 👏 ANSWERS 👏

**shauna-the-lesbian:** ;))

**15YearsWasted:** shauna w h a t

**shauna-the-lesbian:** I may know something about this

**shauna-the-lesbian:** but I cant tell

**shauna-the-lesbian:** because im a professional secret keeper now

**_truekalosqueen_:** lol since when

**shauna-the-lesbian:** ugh rude

**green-bean:** I hope they are dating that would be so cute uwu

**15YearsWasted:** sawyer be honest w/ me r u a soft boy™?

**green-bean:** what

**green-bean:** no

**nini_is_trying:** I just think that’s some

_ b u l l s h i t _

**Mother:** nini is my new favorite child everyone else can go home

**green-bean:** rude

**green-bean:** and im not a soft boy

**ashfrompallettown:** liar

**green-bean:** no I only speak the truth

**green-bean:** I can be eDgY if I wanted to

**ashfrompallettown:** that is such a lie

**ashfrompallettown:** when we watched the shining together for the first time u started crying bc u were so scared

**green-bean:** okay r00d u didn’t have to expose me like that

**shauna-the-lesbian:** THAT HAS SO MUCH SOFT BOY™ ENERGY IM-

**_shauna-the-lesbian_ ** _ has changed  _ **_green-bean_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_softboyuwu_ ** _! _

**softboyuwu:** :(

**softboyuwu:** I am being abused

**ashfrompallettown:** _ then perish _

**bluehair-dontcare:** yall are such dumbasses I stg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CAN'T WRITE LOVE CONFESSIONS AAHHHHHH
> 
> sorry that part was cringey (but maybe them being so awkward was cute idk????)
> 
> Anyways, see you guys in a couple of days! Bye!


	4. Stranger Things and Coming Out Stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usernames:
> 
> Prof. Sycamore: TheOfficialKalosProfessor   
> Ash- ashfrompallettown  
> Serena- _truekalosqueen_  
> Clemont- Mother  
> Bonnie- smolbean.but.mean  
> Shauna- shauna-the-lesbian  
> Tierno- tienro  
> Trevor- cheeto-puff  
> Sawyer- softboyuwu  
> Alain- MemeMaster  
> Mairin- 15YearsWasted  
> Miette- bluehair-dontcare  
> Nini- nini_is_trying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey sorry for the inactivity on this book but I just wanna make an announcement saying that this book or any of my current projects (which contains alpha world and is this more than you bargained for? ) are not discontinued, they're just kinda... not updated as frequently. but, I did upload some cute one-shots, so if you're interested in the fandoms kindergarten or doki doki literature club then go check out those one-shots! (also they're mega g a e)
> 
> anyways, enjoy this chapter of tierno and trevor being chaotic gays, shauna being a useless lesbian, and ash being his typical dumb self

  
  
  


[ _ danceboi – trevs _ ]

  
  


**danceboi:** I have a plan

**trevs:** oh no

**danceboi:** ugh r00d

**danceboi:** no but seriously I have a plan

**danceboi:** it involves our relationship

**trevs:** owo?

**danceboi:** lets not tell people were dating

**trevs:** okay

**trevs:** why???

**danceboi:** bc it’ll be funner to see them figure it out themselves

**trevs:** okay first of all FUNNER is not a word

**danceboi:** :(

**trevs:** second of all, doesn’t shauna already low key know?

**danceboi:** maybe

**danceboi:** but she doesn’t know for sure

**danceboi:** for all she knows u could’ve rejected me horribly

**trevs:** valid point

**trevs:** okay lets do it

**danceboi:** :)

  
  
  


[ _ Gaymers _ ]

  
  


**Mother:** ash stop sending me pictures of danny devito

**shauna-the-lesbian:** FHDGSGDGS

**ashfrompallettown:** BUT DANNY DEVITO IS THE KING

**ashfrompallettown:** I BOW IN THE PRESENCE OF DANNY DEVITO

**cheeto-puff:** im-

**ashfrompallettown:** im bored :(

**bluehair-dontcare:** no one cares

**ashfrompallettown:** :(

**ashfrompallettown:** #abused

**_truekalosqueen_:** yall im scared

**_truekalosqueen_:** im home alone and I just heard a sound from downstairs

**tienro:** its satan

**15YearsWasted:** burn the whole house down

**_truekalosqueen_:** fhdggdg I just might

**_truekalosqueen_:** ima go investigate

**shauna-the-lesbian:** good luck

**ashfrompallettown:** don’t die

**_truekalosqueen_:** thanks for the pep talk ash

**ashfrompallettown:** np

**_truekalosqueen_:** I have found the intruder

**_truekalosqueen_:** oh nvm its just rhyhorn in the house

**_truekalosqueen_:** WAIT RHYHORN’S IN THE HOUSE

**_truekalosqueen_:** HE BROKE DOWN THE DOOR

**shauna-the-lesbian:** BAHAHAHAA

**_truekalosqueen_:** MY MOM’S GONNA KILL ME

**_truekalosqueen_:** GTG GOTTA DEAL WITH THIS RUN AWAY RHYHORN

**__truekalosqueen__ ** _ has left the chat! _

**smolbean.but.mean:** poor serena

**bluehair-dontcare:** she deserves it

**ashfrompallettown:** #abuse

**bluehair-dontcare:** stfu ash

**ashfrompallettown:** :(

**ashfrompallettown:** sawyer im lonely

**softboyuwu:** okay???

**ashfrompallettown:** u should come over

**softboyuwu:** um

**ashfrompallettown:** u have no choice

**softboyuwu:** oof okay

**softboyuwu:** wait is ur mom okay w/ it?

**ashfrompallettown:** lol prob not

**ashfrompallettown:** but its okay ill sneak u through the window

**ashfrompallettown:** so we can cuddle and watch stranger things

**softboyuwu:** ffhfgfgddgsg okei

**shauna-the-lesbian:** ARE YALL DATING YET

**ashfrompallettown:** lol nope

**softboyuwu:** in his dreams maybe

**ashfrompallettown:** :(

**tienro:** shots fired

**cheeto-puff:** SPEAKING OF STRANGER THINGS

**cheeto-puff:** WHOS SEEN SEASON 3

**shauna-the-lesbian:** I HAVE

**tienro:** ^^

**15YearsWasted:** ^^^

**smolbean.but.mean:** CLEMONT AND I HAVE SEEN IT

**MemeMaster:** I’ve seen it

**ashfrompallettown:** sawyer and I have seen it were just rewatching bc stranger things is awesome

**softboyuwu:** ugh im gonna cry again

**shauna-the-lesbian:** soft boy energy

**softboyuwu:** #abuse

**cheeto-puff:** yall I love stranger things

**cheeto-puff:** but mike wheeler’s a whole RODENT

**shauna-the-lesbian:** AGREED

**smolbean.but.mean:** ew mike wheeler

**15YearsWasted:** MIKE WHEELER STANS DON’T INTERACT

**MemeMaster:** I like Mike Wheeler

**_15YearsWasted_ ** _ has kicked  _ **_MemeMaster_ ** _ from the chat! _

**15YearsWasted:** problem solved

**nini_is_trying:** t e a

**nini_is_trying:** ive never seen stranger things  😪

**nini_is_trying:** but ive heard good things about it

**cheeto-puff:** NINI U GOTTA WATCH IT IT’S AMAZINGGGG

**nini_is_trying:** u know what I will

**nini_is_trying:** miette hasn’t seen it either

**nini_is_trying:** miette come over so we can watch it

**bluehair-dontcare:** k

**bluehair-dontcare:** omw

**tienro:** already??

**bluehair-dontcare:** hell yea ive been waiting forever to watch stranger things

**tienro:** then why didn’t u just watch it?

**bluehair-dontcare:** …

**_bluehair-dontcare_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**nini_is_trying:** she was waiting to watch it with me uwu

**shauna-the-lesbian:** that’s gay

**nini_is_trying:** that’s funny coming from u shauna

**shauna-the-lesbian:** r00d

**_softboyuwu_ ** _ has added  _ **_MemeMaster_ ** _ to the chat! _

**MemeMaster:** Thank you Sawyer

**softboyuwu:** np uwu

**15YearsWasted:** ew

**15YearsWasted:** _ this one does not spark joy _

**MemeMaster:** Mairin I thought I was your friend

**15YearsWasted:** u were

**15YearsWasted:** until u told me u were a mike wheeler stan

**MemeMaster:** :(

**ashfrompallettown:** update: sawyer and I are now playing minecraft again

**ashfrompallettown:** we have a pretty dope minecraft world if anyone wants to join

**cheeto-puff:** don’t ever say dope ever again

**ashfrompallettown:** :(

**shauna-the-lesbian:** ash what’s the ip I wanna join

**ashfrompallettown:** hang on im sending it to you now

**shauna-the-lesbian:** k thx

**__truekalosqueen__ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**_truekalosqueen_:** im back

**_truekalosqueen_:** but sadly the door isn’t  😪

**_truekalosqueen_:** my mom’s taking money out of MY allowance to pay for the broken door

**tienro:** F

**15YearsWasted:** F

**cheeto-puff:** F

**ashfrompallettown:** F

**softboyuwu:** F

**Mother:** F

**smolbean.but.mean:** F

**nini_is_trying:** F

**MemeMaster:** What does ‘F’ mean???

**cheeto-puff:** _ he doesn’t know _

**nini_is_trying:** lets not tell him

**15YearsWasted:** yah he doesn’t deserve to know

**15YearsWasted:** bc he’s a MIKE WHEELER STAN

**MemeMaster:** Mairin I stg

**softboyuwu:** GUYS I GOT A CAT IN MINECRAFT

**softboyuwu:** IM SO HAPPY

**softboyuwu:** IM GONNA NAME IT PEANUT

**shauna-the-lesbian:** _ fucking radical you funky little homosexual _

**softboyuwu:** uwu

**nini_is_trying:** who came out first sawyer or shauna

**_truekalosqueen_:** definitely shauna

**nini_is_trying:** why do u say that???

**_truekalosqueen_:** im pretty sure she was already out when we met her

**_truekalosqueen_:** at summer camp she legit introduced herself by saying “hi im a lesbian”

**_truekalosqueen_:** and then ash

**_truekalosqueen_:** like the public NUISANCE he is

**_truekalosqueen_:** replied with “I thought you were american”

**tienro:** HAHAHAHAHA I REMEMBER THATTT

**cheeto-puff:** THAT’S ICONIC I LOVE THAT

**15YearsWasted:** FHDGDGSGSGS

**shauna-the-lesbian:** my coming out story is the best coming out story no cap

**_truekalosqueen_:** agreed

**_truekalosqueen_:** and as for sawyer I think he came out a little while after the kalos league???

**softboyuwu:** yee

**_truekalosqueen_:** and everyone else just slowly came out after that

**ashfrompallettown:** serena and I legit came out a couple of days ago

**_truekalosqueen_:** yee yee

**shauna-the-lesbian:** hey guys remember when everyone thought I was the only gay friend?  _ Good times _

**15YearsWasted:** now everyone’s somehow a little bit gay

**15YearsWasted:** we all come out eventually tbh

**smolbean.but.mean:** FHDGSGSFS

**Mother:** I’m pretty sure that’s not how that works???

**_truekalosqueen_:** don’t correct them

**_truekalosqueen_:** they know what they’re doing

**15YearsWasted:** ;)

**shauna-the-lesbian:** sPEAKING OF COMING OUT

**shauna-the-lesbian:** I THINK TIERNO AND TREVOR HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL US

**tienro:** no

**cheeto-puff:** no why???

**cheeto-puff:** is there something were supposed to tell y’all????

**shauna-the-lesbian:** !?!?!?!?

**ashfrompallettown:** shauna was sh00k

**shauna-the-lesbian:** im-

**shauna-the-lesbian:** I feel betrayed in so many ways rn

**shauna-the-lesbian:** tierno you gave me a PROMISE

**tienro:** whoops

**shauna-the-lesbian:** im literally about to cry

**cheeto-puff:** shauna what the hell are you talking about

**tienro:** idk she’s weird

**shauna-the-lesbian:** TIERNO YOU TRAITOR

  
  
  


[ _ danceboi – trevs _ ]

  
  


**danceboi:** _ shes onto us _

**trevs:** ik im so scared

**trevs:** what promise is she talking about??

**danceboi:** I promised her i’d talk to u about my feelings

**danceboi:** but now im pretty sure she thinks I didn’t talk to u

**trevs:** ooooh

**trevs:** yikes

**danceboi:** ik

**trevs:** well good luck dealing with her <3

**danceboi:** TREVOR WAIT NO U CANT LEAVE ME LIKE THIS

**trevs:** <3 <3

**_trevs_ ** _ has left the chat! _

  
  
  


[ _ Gaymers _ ]

  
  


**ashfrompallettown:** is anyone else big boi confused

**Mother:** _ e x t r e m e l y _

**Mother:** shauna what exactly is happening right now???

**shauna-the-lesbian:** well apparently I cant tell u now >:(

**Mother:** Why???

**shauna-the-lesbian:** bc tierno’s r00d

**tienro:** ur r00d

**shauna-the-lesbian:** SHUT UP TIERNO U LOOK LIKE BUFORD FROM PHINEAS AND FERB DON’T TALK TO ME

**tienro:** FHDGSGSFSFDGDH

**ashfrompallettown:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

**softboyuwu:** :o

**nini_is_trying:** IM-

**nini_is_trying:** I LOVE THIS

**_truekalosqueen_:** PFFFTTT

**_truekalosqueen_:** baljeet and buford were fucking gay for each other and no one can tell me otherwise

**Mother:** Serena please

**15YearsWasted:** so…

**15YearsWasted:** if tierno’s buford…

**tienro:** I don’t want to be buford

**15YearsWasted:** then does that mean trevor’s baljeet?

**cheeto-puff:** i-

**softboyuwu:** IM YELLING THIS CHAT HAS ME DEAD FHDGSGSG

**_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ has sent a video! [ _ _ GreenBoiLaughing.mp4 _ _ ] _

**ashfrompallettown:** yall think he’s exaggerating but he’s really not

**ashfrompallettown:** he’s literally on the floor laughing his ass off

**ashfrompallettown:** I don’t think he’s breathing either

**_truekalosqueen_:** THAT VIDEO FHDGSGSGSF

**_truekalosqueen_:** also sawyer ur laugh is so cute tf

**softboyuwu:** thank

**15YearsWasted:** _ t h a n k _

**nini_is_trying:** _ t h a n k _

**shauna-the-lesbian:** _ t h a n k _

**MemeMaster:** _ t h a n k _

**smolbean.but.mean:** _ t h a n k _

**_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ changed the chat name to [ _ **_Thank_ ** _ ]! _

**_truekalosqueen_:** no one:

This chat: thank

**cheeto-puff:** cursed

**15YearsWasted:** anyone wanna write baljeet and buford fanfiction w/ me  🙈

**_truekalosqueen_:** omg yaaassss  🙈🙈

**_Mother_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**_truekalosqueen_:** wait no clem come back

**__truekalosqueen__ ** _ has added  _ **_Mother_ ** _ to the chat! _

**_Mother_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**_truekalosqueen_:** _ c o w a r d _

**tienro:** anyways

**tienro:** anyone have some crushes to confess lmao

**shauna-the-lesbian:** fuck you tierno honestly

**_shauna-the-lesbian_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**softboyuwu:** i-

**ashfrompallettown:** _h o e s m a d_

**nini_is_trying:** _ h o e s m a d _

**15YearsWasted:** _ h o e s m a d _

**cheeto-puff:** _ h o e s m a d _

**_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ changed the chat name to [ _ **_Hoes Mad_ ** _ ]! _

**_truekalosqueen_:** poor shauna :(

**MemeMaster:** I’m still so confused what the hell is going on??

**nini_is_trying:** who even knows anymore

**tienro:** shauna’s mind is an enigma tbh

**ashfrompallettown:** _ h Ó ę Š m Ã d _

**cheeto-puff:** ash go commit toaster bath please

**ashfrompallettown:** no u

**cheeto-puff:** uno reverse card bitch

**ashfrompallettown:** oh shit

**smolbean.but.mean:** this chat is a mess


	5. Chaotic Gays and #Abuse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prof. Sycamore- TheOfficialKalosProfessor   
> Ash- ashfrompallettown  
> Serena- _truekalosqueen_  
> Clemont- Mother  
> Bonnie- smolbean.but.mean  
> Shauna- shauna-the-lesbian  
> Tierno- tienro  
> Trevor- cheeto-puff  
> Sawyer- softboyuwu  
> Alain- MemeMaster  
> Mairin- 15YearsWasted  
> Miette- bluehair-dontcare  
> Nini- nini_is_trying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not much to say here except enjoy the chapter ig

**_shauna-the-lesbian_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**shauna-the-lesbian:** WHAT

**shauna-the-lesbian:** WHO CHANGED THE CHAT NAME

**cheeto-puff:** ash

**Mother:** Ash

**_truekalosqueen_:** ash

**softboyuwu:** ash

**15YearsWasted:** ash

**nini_is_trying:** ash

**MemeMaster:** Ketchum

**tienro:** ash

**smolbean.but.mean:** ash

**bluehair-dontcare:** ash probably lmao

**ashfrompallettown:** i-

**ashfrompallettown:** _ wow _

**ashfrompallettown:** this is complete betrayal im witnessing

**shauna-the-lesbian:** _ just you wait ketchum _

**shauna-the-lesbian:** _ I will get my revenge _

**ashfrompallettown:** CLEMONT I’M SCARED

**Mother:** so???

**Mother:** what do you want me to do???

**ashfrompallettown:** IDK

**ashfrompallettown:** SOMETHING

**cheeto-puff:** wow very specific ash thank you

**ashfrompallettown:** R00D

**cheeto-puff:** _ h o e s m a d _

**MemeMaster:** What does hoes mad even mean??

**cheeto-puff:** well

**cheeto-puff:** ash is a hoe

**cheeto-puff:** and he’s mad

**MemeMaster:** Oh

**ashfrompallettown:** am NOT a hoe

**15YearsWasted:** ash literally the only thing you do in this chat is hit on sawyer and clemont

**ashfrompallettown:** eh u rite ig

**_shauna-the-lesbian_** _has changed_ ** _ashfrompallettown_** _’s_ _username to_ ** _dumbhoe_** _!_

**dumbhoe:** WHAT

**dumbhoe:** IM NOT DUMB

**shauna-the-lesbian:** you literally spelled “i’m” and “right” wrong

**dumbhoe:** _ s h i t u g o t m e t h e r e _

**dumbhoe:** so I may be dumb

**dumbhoe:** but at least i’m not a hoe

**_truekalosqueen_:** u sure? :/

**dumbhoe:** IM NOT

**dumbhoe:** sawyer tell them im not a hoe

**softboyuwu:** uh

**_softboyuwu_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**dumbhoe:** WOW

**dumbhoe:** #abuse

**tienro:** hey shauna do u still hate me

**shauna-the-lesbian:** no not really

**shauna-the-lesbian:** I actually hate ash more now so ur cool

**dumbhoe:** #ABUSE

**bluehair-dontcare:** wait

**bluehair-dontcare:** why did shauna and tierno hate each other?????

**shauna-the-lesbian:** eh

**tienro:** reasons

**smolbean.but.mean:** very specific you guys thank you

**tienro:** hush

**dumbhoe:** IS EVERYONE JUST GONNA IGNORE THE FACT THAT IM BEING BULLIED

**_truekalosqueen_:** yes

**dumbhoe:** #ABUSE

**_dumbhoe_ ** _ has changed the chat name to [ _ **_#abuse_ ** _ ]! _

**_softboyuwu_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**softboyuwu:** hey uh if anyone wants to get me starbucks right now I will love you forever

**_dumbhoe_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**15YearsWasted:** there he go

**Mother:** I’ve never seen Ash run so fast

**softboyuwu:** okay good he’s gone

**Mother:** wait what

**softboyuwu:** I have a confession to make

**shauna-the-lesbian:** ooooh spill

**softboyuwu:** pls no one tell ash

**smolbean.but.mean:** gotchu

**15YearsWasted:** SAWYER TELL US

**softboyuwu:** okay uh

**softboyuwu:** I think I have a crush on ash

**shauna-the-lesbian:** we been knew

**15YearsWasted:** we been knew

**smolbean.but.mean:** we been knew

**_truekalosqueen_:** we been knew

**tienro:** we been knew

**cheeto-puff:** we been knew

**Mother:** we been knew

**nini_is_trying:** we been knew

**MemeMaster:** We been knew

**softboyuwu:** oh

**bluehair-dontcare:** FHSGSGSGSGSG

**bluehair-dontcare:** WHAT

**bluehair-dontcare:** I DIDN’T BEEN KNEW

**nini_is_trying:** that’s bc u were too busy crushing on ash

**bluehair-dontcare:** u know what

**bluehair-dontcare:** H U S H

**bluehair-dontcare:** besides I’ve stopped crushing on ash

**bluehair-dontcare:** I like someone else now

**15YearsWasted:** OwO?? who???

**bluehair-dontcare:** none of ur business

**bluehair-dontcare:** you fucking weeb

**15YearsWasted:** *sad rawr XD*

**smolbean.but.mean:** i-

**_truekalosqueen_:** IM SCREAMING LMAOO

**shauna-the-lesbian:** sawyer

**softboyuwu:** yis

**shauna-the-lesbian:** confess ur  _ f e e l i n g s _ to ash

**softboyuwu:** no

**shauna-the-lesbian:** WHY NOT

**softboyuwu:** because he likes clemont

**_truekalosqueen_:** wait WHAT

**smolbean.but.mean:** ???

**softboyuwu:** yah he talks about it all the time when we comes over

**softboyuwu:** ive known for a while now

**cheeto-puff:** the plot twist nobody saw coming

**Mother:** …

**softboyuwu:** wait

**softboyuwu:** SHIT

**_softboyuwu_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**tienro:** I never thought I’d live to see the day when sawyer curses

**Mother:** did he forget I was in the chat or something???

**15YearsWasted:** aPpArEnTly

**smolbean.but.mean:** I am so shook rn

**shauna-the-lesbian:** i’m just gonna…

**_shauna-the-lesbian_ ** _ has deleted  _ **_52_ ** _ messages from the chat! _

**_dumbhoe_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**dumbhoe:** _ shauna what did u just delete _

**shauna-the-lesbian:** nothing

**shauna-the-lesbian:** hoe

**dumbhoe:** FFSGSGSGSGSG

**dumbhoe:** A N Y W A Y S

**dumbhoe:** I got sawyer’s starbucks im gonna go give it to him brb

**_dumbhoe_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**15YearsWasted:** did-

**15YearsWasted:** did ash just say “brb” in 2019???

**tienro:** why yes he did

**shauna-the-lesbian:** hah

**shauna-the-lesbian:** what a fucking moron

**_shauna-the-lesbian_ ** _ has changed the chat name to [ _ **_Cancel Ash Ketchum 2k19_ ** _ ]! _

**15YearsWasted:** ARE WE JUST GONNA IGNORE WHAT JUST HAPPENED W/ CLEMONT AND SAWYER????

**Mother:** yes please

**nini_is_trying:** eh

**nini_is_trying:** its not really any of our business

**nini_is_trying:** but I am kinda curious

**Mother:** I’m really just done with this conversation

**Mother:** I don’t want to deal with Ash being a moron and Sawyer being oblivious

**bluehair-dontcare:** what???

**cheeto-puff:** tea????

**15YearsWasted:** T E A T I M E

**Mother:** what

**Mother:** no

**Mother:** I said I’m done

**__truekalosqueen__ ** _ has left the chat! _

**bluehair-dontcare:** where the hell is she going

**smolbean.but.mean:** idk

  
  
  


[ _ performingbi — sciencegay] _

  
  


**performingbi:** clemont spill thy tea

**sciencegay:** Serena why is my username sciencegay again

**performingbi:** bc u like science

**performingbi:** and u gay

**performingbi:** and I like to perform

**performingbi:** and im bi

**performingbi:** ANYWAYS SPILL THE TEA

**sciencegay:** ugh fine

**sciencegay:** Sawyer’s literally saying “aSh dOeSnT LiKe mE hE LiKeS cLeMoNt”

**sciencegay:** but Ash literally told me he likes Sawyer

**sciencegay:** but now he’s telling Sawyer that he likes me???

**sciencegay:** I’m so confused

**performingbi:** me too tbh

**performingbi:** I would say talk to ash??

**performingbi:** but that would be a really awkward conversation

**sciencegay:** ya think

**performingbi:** my advice would be

**performingbi:** to just treat like I treat all of my problems

**performingbi:** ignore it and hope it goes away

**sciencegay:** FHDGSGSGSG

**performingbi:** no but seriously

**performingbi:** just let this work itself out

**performingbi:** hopefully things will turn out okay

**performingbi:** but honestly there’s not much u can do now

**sciencegay:** okay…

**performingbi:** hey clem quick question

**sciencegay:** yeah?

**performingbi:** do u like ash back?

**sciencegay:** honestly I don’t even know anymore

**sciencegay:** I think I do???

**sciencegay:** but I don’t wanna cause drama

**sciencegay:** so I guess I’ll take your advice and ignore it

**performingbi:** good plan

  
  
  


[ _ Cancel Ash Ketchum 2k19 _ ]

  
  


**_dumbhoe_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**dumbhoe:** WHO CHANGED THE CHAT NAME

**cheeto-puff:** shauna

**tienro:** shauna

**bluehair-dontcare:** shauna

**MemeMaster:** shauna

**smolbean.but.mean:** shauna

**nini_is_trying:** shauna

**15YearsWasted:** shauna lmao

**shauna-the-lesbian:** _you all are traitors and backstabbers I hope you know that_

**dumbhoe:** S H A U N A

**dumbhoe:** wait where did serena clemont and sawyer go

**tienro:** idk man

**cheeto-puff:** can we talk about the lack of commas in that sentence

**dumbhoe:** _ h u s h _

**nini_is_trying:** a good portion of the chat left after u left ash

**dumbhoe:** awwww

**dumbhoe:** is it bc this chat’s no fun without me uwu

**shauna-the-lesbian:** no actually it was quite enjoyable without you

**dumbhoe:** SHAUNA

**dumbhoe:** U HAVE DISREPEKTED ME FOR THE LAST TIME

**dumbhoe:** I AM STUNNING BEAUTIFUL AND INTELLIGENT

**dumbhoe:** AND UR JUST JELLY

**cheeto-puff:** says the guy who can’t even spell “disrespected” right

**tienro:** hah nice one babe

**nini_is_trying:** !?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?

**shauna-the-lesbian:** wAIT WHAT

**cheeto-puff:** TIERNO

**tienro:** FUCK

**15YearsWasted:** that’s gay


	6. Chaotic Christmas Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gaymersanta: why does every1 bully me? :(
> 
> festivelesbian: bc u exist
> 
> bahhumbug: bc ur the cause of most of our problems
> 
> tinytim: bc u use “every1” in 2019

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hola my fellow weebs and welcome to a slightly early and short christmas special
> 
> I prob wont be very active around christmas time so might as well post this now
> 
> also im gonna stop putting usernames as the summary and just put them as end notes
> 
> now please enjoy this christmas special of ash being an absolute dumbass and everyone else trying to get into the holiday spirit (key word: TRYING)

**bluehair-dontcare:** hey  **@tienro @cheeto-puff**

**bluehair-dontcare:** _ what the fuck _

**tienro:** i-

**tienro:** i can explain

**_Mother_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**dumbhoe:** wb clem

**smolbean.but.mean:** bitch better start explaining or it’s on sight hoe

**Mother:** B o n n i e w h a t

**smolbean.but.mean:** whoops my bad

**Mother:** where did I fail as a brother

**shauna-the-lesbian:** HEY  **@tienro**

**shauna-the-lesbian:** I THOUGHT U DIDN’T CONFESS UR FEELINGS

**tienro:** shauna I can explain

**tienro:** just pls don’t get mad

**cheeto-puff:** tierno and I were hiding our relationship from y’all coz we thought it would be funny

**cheeto-puff:** but SOMEONE

**cheeto-puff:** had to go and mess it up

**cheeto-puff:** but it was actually pretty worth it cause it was hilarious to watch shauna lose her mind over this lmao

**shauna-the-lesbian:** WHAT

**shauna-the-lesbian:** I-

**shauna-the-lesbian:** FHDGSGSGSGS

**nini_is_trying:** guys I think you broke shauna

**cheeto-puff:** _ good _

**tienro:** _ its what she deserves _

**shauna-the-lesbian:** R00D

**15YearsWasted:** I KNEW YOU GUYS WERE DATING

**MemeMaster:** No you didn’t

**15YearsWasted:** IVE CONNECTED THE DOTS

**MemeMaster:** You didn’t connect  _ shit _

**15YearsWasted:** _ ive connected them _

**tienro:** nice reference

**smolbean.but.mean:** well i’m glad my ship finally sailed

**smolbean.but.mean:** #tiernoxtrevor4lyfe

**Mother:** Bonnie please—

**Mother:** but congrats Tierno and Trevor I’m glad you’re happy together :)

**cheeto-puff:** thank u clem

**tienro:** thank mom

**shauna-the-lesbian:** I don’t know if I should feel happy or betrayed

**nini_is_trying:** feel both

**dumbhoe:** ur beppy

**cheeto-puff:** pls don’t call it that

**dumbhoe:** would u prefer hatrayed?

**cheeto-puff:** I WOULD PREFER NEITHER

**_smolbean.but.mean_ ** _ has added  _ **_softboyuwu_ ** _ and  _ **__truekalosqueen__ ** _ to the chat! _

**smolbean.but.mean:** scroll up guys

**softboyuwu:** k

**softboyuwu:** OMG

**softboyuwu:** I KNEW IT

**_truekalosqueen_:** aaahhhh!!! congrats u two!!!!

**cheeto-puff:** thank

**tienro:** thank

**_dumbhoe_ ** _ has changed the chat name to [ _ **_Merry Chrysler_ ** _ ] _

**bluehair-dontcare:** what

**dumbhoe:** ITS CHRISTMAS TIME GAYMERS

**Mother:** Ash there’s still like 15 days until Christmas

**dumbhoe:** _ hush _

**cheeto-puff:** ASH WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO DON’T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS HUH

**dumbhoe:** oh shit u rite

**_dumbhoe_ ** _ has changed the chat name to [ _ **_Happy Homodays_ ** _ ] _

**dumbhoe:** GET IT?

**dumbhoe:** ITS LIKE HOLIDAYS BUT WITH HOMO COZ WE ALL GAY

**nini_is_trying:** that’s actually kinda clever

**_dumbhoe_ ** _ has changed their username to  _ **_gaymersanta_ ** _! _

**gaymersanta:** time to get  _ f e s t i v e  _

**_gaymersanta_ ** _ has changed  _ **_softboyuwu_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_mrsclaus_ ** _! _

**mrsclaus:** ash  _ why am I mrs claus _

**shauna-the-lesbian:** _ I think u know _

**mrsclaus:** shauna-

**_gaymersanta_ ** _ has changed  _ **__truekalosqueen_’s_ ** _ username to  _ **_Rudolph_ ** _! _

**Rudolph:** ash these usernames don’t make sense why the hell am I rudolph

**_gaymersanta_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Mother’s_ ** _ username to  _ **_MotherMary_ ** _! _

**MotherMary:** im-

**smolbean.but.mean:** LOL

**_gaymersanta_ ** _ has changed  _ **_smolbean.but.mean’s_ ** _ username to  _ **_elfontheshelf_ ** _! _

**elfontheshelf:** WHAT

**shauna-the-lesbian:** HAHAHAH

**_gaymersanta_ ** _ has changed  _ **_MemeMaster’s_ ** _ username to  _ **_thegrinch_ ** _! _

**thegrinch:** _ Ash why am I the grinch _

**gaymersanta:** ;))

**thegrinch:** ASH WHY AM I THE GRINCH

**_gaymersanta_ ** _ has changed  _ **_tienro’s_ ** _ username to  _ **_frostythesnowman_ ** _! _

**cheeto-puff:** pfffttt

**frostythesnowman:** ash please-

**_gaymersanta_ ** _ has changed  _ **_cheeto-puff’s_ ** _ username to  _ **_tinytim_ ** _! _

**tinytim:** RUDE

**bluehair-dontcare:** LMAOOO

**frostythesnowman:** trevs im sorry but that’s hilarious

**tinytim:** rude rude rude rude

**_gaymersanta_ ** _ has changed _ **_shauna-the-lesbian’s_ ** _ username to  _ **_festivelesbian_ ** _! _

**festivelesbian:** ash  _ what _

**gaymersanta:** lmaoo sorry I had no ideas

**_gaymersanta_ ** _ has changed  _ **_nini_is_trying’s_ ** _ username to  _ **_sugarplumfairy_ ** _! _

**sugarplumfairy:** that’s actually really cute thx ash

**_gaymersanta_ ** _ has changed  _ **_bluehair-dontcare’s_ ** _ username to  _ **_bahhumbug_ ** _! _

**bahhumbug:** HEY

**_gaymersanta_ ** _ has changed  _ **_15YearsWasted’s_ ** _ username to  _ **_Jesus_ ** _! _

**Jesus:** LMAOOO WHY AM I JESUS

**gaymersanta:** bc ur jesus

**gaymersanta:** in the name of the father son and the holy spirit

**gaymersanta:** ramen

**Rudolph:** the holy noodle

**gaymersanta:** *amen

**gaymersanta:** but I guess that works too

**festivelesbian:** HAHAHAHA

**tinytim:** hey guys  _ concept _

**tinytim:** we should all get together

**tinytim:** and watch a marathon of christmas movies

**gaymersanta:** YESSSSS OMG

**frostythesnowman:** WE HAVE TO DO THAT

**sugarplumfairy:** who’s house are we doing this at

**Jesus:** serena’s

**Rudolph:** WHY

**Jesus:** bc ur mom’s  _ rich rich _

**Jesus:** and u have a big house

**Rudolph:** …

**Rudolph:** well jesus has spoken ig

**Rudolph:** THIS WEEKEND

**Rudolph:** CHRISTMAS MOVIE MARATHON @ MY HOUSE

**Rudolph:** BYOB: BRING UR OWN BLANKET

**Rudolph:** BYOHS: BRING UR OWN HOLIDAY SPIRIT

**Rudolph:** ENTRY FEE FOR ASH: $5

**Rudolph:** EVERYONE ELSE: FREE

**Rudolph:** STARTS AT 6PM AND ENDS WHENEVER WE GET BORED

**Rudolph:** BE THERE OR BE A SQUARE

**thegrinch:** I thought it was “be there or be square”?

**Rudolph:** _ hush child _

**gaymersanta:** WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY 5 DOLLARS

**Rudolph:** _ bc no one likes u ash _

**gaymersanta:** :(

**mrsclaus:** hecc yea this is gonna be  _ lit _

**festivelesbian:** yee yee

**sugarplumfairy:** WE SHOULD WATCH THE POLAR EXPRESS

**Jesus:** we should watch the bee movie

**MotherMary:** _ dear god no _

**gaymersanta:** the entire bee movie but the first letter of every word is replaced with  🅱️

**frostythesnowman:** 🅱️ ccording  🅱 ️o  🅱 ️ll  🅱 ️nown  🅱 ️aws  🅱 ️f  🅱 ️viation  🅱 ️here  🅱 ️is  🅱 ️o  🅱 ️ay  🅱 ️  🅱 ️ee  🅱 ️hould  🅱 ️e  🅱 ️ble  🅱 ️o  🅱 ️ly  🅱 ️ts  🅱 ️ings  🅱 ️re  🅱 ️oo  🅱 ️mall  🅱 ️o  🅱 ️et  🅱 ️ts  🅱 ️at  🅱 ️ittle  🅱 ️ody  🅱 ️ff  🅱 ️he  🅱 ️round  🅱 ️he  🅱 ️ee  🅱 ️f  🅱 ️ourse  🅱 ️lies  🅱 ️nyway  🅱 ️ecause  🅱 ️ees  🅱 ️on't  🅱 ️are  🅱 ️hat  🅱 ️umans  🅱 ️hink  🅱 ️s  🅱 ️mpossible 

**tinytim:** im shaking and crying how did u type that so fast

**frostythesnowman:** time and practice

**MotherMary:** *implies that he actually spends time practicing typing out the bee movie script*

**frostythesnowman:** _ m a y b e s o _

**tinytim:** I regret ever going out with you

**frostythesnowman:** WHAT

**elfontheshelf:** IM SCREAMING ITS ONLY BEEN LIKE 5 DAYS TIERNO HOW DID U MESS UP SO BADLY

**frostythesnowman:** I DON’T KNOW

**Rudolph:** tierno loses his mind over trevor making a simple joke: a story of hope

**frostythesnowman:** okay wow joke stealer

**tinytim:** take a joke  _ b a b e _

**frostythesnowman:** >:(

**frostythesnowman:** #abuse

**sugarplumfairy:** okay but the main bee from the bee movie could kinda get it tho  🤤

**gaymersanta:** ARE U TALKING ABOUT BARRY B. BENSON

**sugarplumfairy:** YES

**MotherMary:** literally end me

**elfontheshelf:** barry b benson is dummy thicc  🍑💦

**festivelesbian:** barry threw it back for the real ones

**_MotherMary_ ** _ has changed the chat name to [ _ **_End my suffering_ ** _ ]! _

**_gaymersanta_ ** _ has changed the chat name to [ _ **_Happy Homodays_ ** _ ]! _

**gaymersanta:** clem were supposed to be festive >:(

**MotherMary:** oh my bad

**_MotherMary_ ** _ has changed the chat name to [ _ **_Happy Christmas Death_ ** _ ]! _

**gaymersanta:** good enough ig

**Rudolph:** _ im gonna cry clem pls _

**mrsclaus:** yall ever just

**mrsclaus:** fhdhaoqlqnbshdud w whaixn. Shwuqkaknz hzuaiwlwmsbsg7.&2’w bzsjsjkq q zhu&/‘snzhujdnw bau&! D

**frostythesnowman:** yes I know exactly what u mean

**gaymersanta:** sawyer u okei?

**mrsclaus:** no

**tinytim:** rip

**mrsclaus:** I think

**mrsclaus:** I think i’m having a stroke

**gaymersanta:** WHAT

**sugarplumfairy:** honestly me too fam

**gaymersanta:** WAIT ARE U ACTUALLY HAVING A STROKE

**mrsclaus:** ash

**gaymersanta:** DO U NEED ME TO CALL AN AMBULANCE OR SMTHNG?

**mrsclaus:** ash

**mrsclaus:** I was joking

**gaymersanta:** oh

**festivelesbian:** HAHAHAHA WHAT A DUMBASS

**gaymersanta:** SHUT UP SHAUNA

**festivelesbian:** no u

**gaymersanta:** no u

**festivelesbian:** no u

**gaymersanta:** no u

**festivelesbian:** no u

**gaymersanta:** no u

**festivelesbian:** no u

**gaymersanta:** no u

**festivelesbian:** no u

**gaymersanta:** no u

**_Jesus_ ** _ has kicked  _ **_festivelesbian_ ** _ and  _ **_gaymersanta_ ** _ from the chat! _

**mrsclaus:** _ oh _

**Jesus:** now my children

**Jesus:** the evil known as ash and shauna has been ridden from this world

**Jesus:** now let us gather together in harmony and gay

**frostythesnowman** : kumbaya my lord

**Rudolph:** kumbaya

**bahhumbug:** _ I want to die _

**elfontheshelf:** this group chat is a whole mess

**Jesus:** guys

**Jesus:** I have this like random gut feeling

**Jesus:** that one of you will betray me tonight

**MotherMary:** are we seriously recreating the last supper

**Rudolph:** is it me jesus?

**Jesus:** no

**tinytim:** christmas is about the BIRTH of christ, not the death

**frostythesnowman:** is it me jesus?

**Jesus:** no not u

**_mrsclaus_ ** _ has added  _ **_gaymersanta_ ** _ and  _ **_festivelesbian_ ** _ to the chat! _

**Jesus:** iS iT mE jEsUs?¿

**MotherMary:** oh

**tinytim:** well-

**mrsclaus:** HEY

**mrsclaus:** no one gets left out on christmas >:(

**thegrinch:** But what if Ash deserves it

**gaymersanta:** HEY

**gaymersanta:** why does every1 bully me? :(

**festivelesbian:** bc u exist

**bahhumbug:** bc ur the cause of most of our problems

**tinytim:** bc u use “every1” in 2019

**gaymersanta:** _ wow _

**gaymersanta:** didn’t have to attack me like that gOsh

**mrsclaus:** u also havent played minecraft w/ me in over 3 weeks and I feel offended so…

**_mrsclaus_ ** _ has changed the chat name to [ _ **_Cancel Ash Ketchum 2k19_ ** _ ] _

**gaymersanta:** MY OWN WIFE

**mrsclaus:** what

**gaymersanta:** what

**sugarplumfairy:** isnt the chat name supposed to be festive?

**_MotherMary_ ** _ has changed the chat name to [ _ **_Screw Christmas_ ** _ ]! _

**_MotherMary_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**gaymersanta:** :o

**Jesus:** _ that wasn’t very holiday spirit of you _

**festivelesbian:** IM SCREAMING

**tinytim:** im out of this bitch

**_tinytim_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**frostythesnowman:** i-

**frostythesnowman:** well okay then

**_frostythesnowman_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**sugarplumfairy:** well good attempt at trying to get everyone in the christmas spirit ash

**sugarplumfairy:** but I don’t think its working

**_sugarplumfairy_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**gaymersanta:** :(

**elfontheshelf:** im gonna go make sure my brother’s not depressed

**_elfontheshelf_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**Rudolph:** honestly the idea of a christmas group chat is kinda fun

**festivelesbian:** serena im gonna go get taco bell wanna join?

**Rudolph:** :o

**Rudolph:** later losers

**_Rudolph_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**_festivelesbian_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**Jesus:** not even jesus can save this chat

**_Jesus_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**gaymersanta:** SHIT NOT JESUS

**_bahhumbug_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**gaymersanta:** SAWYER DON’T LEAVE ME

**mrsclaus:** play minecraft w/ me

**gaymersanta:** sawyer pls u know im busy today

**mrsclaus:** well then ho ho ho bitch

**_mrsclaus_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**gaymersanta:** _ w o w _

**gaymersanta:** alain u wont leave right?

**gaymersanta:** ALAIN U LOVE CHRISTMAS RIGHT?

**thegrinch:** I’m Jewish

**gaymersanta:** oh

**_thegrinch_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**gaymersanta:** WELL THEN MERRY CHRISTMAS TO  _ ME _ I GUESS

**gaymersanta:** AND TO  _ ME _ A GOOD NIGHT

**_gaymersanta_ ** _ has left the chat! _

~*~ Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year! ~*~

Pokemon XY Group Chat will return: January 10th, 2020

See y'all next year!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATED usernames:  
> Ash- gaymersanta  
> Serena- Rudolph  
> Clemont- MotherMary  
> Bonnie- elfontheshelf  
> Shauna- festivelesbian  
> Tierno- frostythesnowman  
> Trevor- tinytim  
> Sawyer- mrsclaus  
> Alain- thegrinch  
> Mairin- Jesus  
> Miette- bahhumbug  
> Nini- sugarplumfairy


	7. New Year's Resolutions and Sleep Deprivation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dumbhoe: @shauna-the-lesbian I saw that u dumb bitch
> 
> shauna-the-lesbian: fight me thot
> 
> dumbhoe: square up whore
> 
> bluehair-dontcare: OKAYYY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Happy New Year y'all! I actually had a lot of time on my hands after I got back from vacation, and I was able to finish this so.... early update!
> 
> Just a warning tho, this chapter is a little short :/ coz it was written at 1am, but I plan to have longer chapters up in the near future!
> 
> Also, shoutout to AO3 user @DeathIsLife for helping me come up with some ideas for this chapter! Thank you so much for all your help! :)
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> tw for anyone who needs it: this chapter contains some SLIGHTLY more sexual humor and mentions of homophobia and child abuse

**gaymersanta:** christmas is over :(

**bahhumbug:** you don’t say

**gaymersanta:** >:(

**_gaymersanta_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_ashfrompallettown_ ** _! _

**_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ has changed  _ **_MotherMary_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_Mother_ ** _! _

**_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Rudolph’s_ ** _ username to  _ **__truekalosqueen__ ** _! _

**_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ has changed  _ **_elfontheshelf_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_smolbean.but.mean_ ** _! _

**_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ has changed  _ **_mrsclaus_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_softboyuwu_ ** _! _

**_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ has changed  _ **_festivelesbian_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_shauna-the-lesbian_ ** _! _

**_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ has changed  _ **_frostythesnowman_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_tienro_ ** _! _

**_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ has changed  _ **_tinytim_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_cheeto-puff_ ** _! _

**_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ has changed  _ **_bahhumbug_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_bluehair-dontcare_ ** _! _

**_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ has changed  _ **_sugarplumfairy_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_nini_is_trying_ ** _! _

**_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Jesus_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_15YearsWasted_ ** _! _

**_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ has changed  _ **_thegrinch_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_MemeMaster_ **

**ashfrompallettown:** is that everyone?

**softboyuwu:** I think so

**_shauna-the-lesbian_ ** _ has changed  _ **_ashfrompallettown_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_dumbhoe_ ** _! _

**dumbhoe:** >:(

**shauna-the-lesbian:** ur not getting out of this one ketchup man

**dumbhoe:** #abuse

**nini_is_trying:** its 2020 now y’all!!!

**15YearsWasted:** happy new year homos

**softboyuwu:** happy new year!!!!

**tienro:** I hate when people ask me what i’ll being doing today like come on guys I don’t have 2020 vision

**_truekalosqueen_:** i-

**cheeto-puff:** that was really bad babe

**tienro:** ik ik

**bluehair-dontcare:** yall are so cute you honestly make me sick

**cheeto-puff:** ???

**nini_is_trying:** I think that was a compliment

**cheeto-puff:** oh thx ig

**15YearsWasted:** my new year’s resolution is to no longer be single  🥴

**_truekalosqueen_:** YAS MAIRIN

**shauna-the-lesbian:** im tryna get a purty girl to hmu  😔✌ ️

**smolbean.but.mean:** that’s my new year’s resolution too mairin!

**Mother:** NO IT’S NOT

**softboyuwu:** fhdgsgsgsg

**smolbean.but.mean:** clemonntttt when can I start dating? :(

**Mother:** Never

**smolbean.but.mean:** clemmmoonntttt

**Mother:** Maybe when you’re 60

**smolbean.but.mean:** CLEMONNNTTTTT

**tienro:** protective brother to the rescue

**dumbhoe:** im actually praying for bonnie’s first bf

**softboyuwu:** whats ur new year’s resolution ash?

**dumbhoe:** uhhhhhhh

**shauna-the-lesbian:** to get into clemont or sawyer’s pants

**shauna-the-lesbian:** or both

**dumbhoe:** NO IT ISN’T

**15YearsWasted:** #exposed

**dumbhoe:** my new years resolution is to keEP PIKACHU FROM TRYING TO GET ON MY PHONE

**_truekalosqueen_:** wait is pikachu fr trying to use ur phone

**dumbhoe:** YES

**dumbhoe:** he wants to tippity tappity on the keyboard

**dumbhoe:** he sees me doing it and he wants to do the same

**dumbhoe:** its NOT very cash money

**cheeto-puff:** “tippity tappity”

**shauna-the-lesbian:** everytime ash speaks I lose a brain cell

**dumbhoe:** shut up shauna im trying

**dumbhoe:** wait brb I gotta go pee pee

**bluehair-dontcare:** tmi spiky hair

**tienro:** lmao

**nini_is_trying:** what did y’all do for christmas? 

**shauna-the-lesbian:** eh I had a family reunion :/

**nini_is_trying:** :o what was that like

**shauna-the-lesbian:** it was a hispanic family reunion what do u think it was like

**nini_is_trying:** o o f

**cheeto-puff:** my parents actually came home for christmas!

**nini_is_trying:** yay!

**cheeto-puff:** but they forgot to get us gifts lmao

**nini_is_trying:** m a j o r o o f

**cheeto-puff:** so they did sum last minute shopping on christmas eve and my sister and I ended up getting two presents each

**cheeto-puff:** which is surprisingly an upgrade from last year

**shauna-the-lesbian:** aww trevs  🥺

**nini_is_trying:** did tierno get u a present?

**cheeto-puff:** of course he did uwu and I got him one too!

**tienro:** <3

**cheeto-puff:** <3 <3

**15YearsWasted:** G A Y

**tienro:** no u

**15YearsWasted:** no u

**softboyuwu:** I had to visit family in hoenn :/

**softboyuwu:** my mom yelled at me for “believing I was gay” (again) and my grandma asked if I had a girlfriend yet and I REALLY didn’t know how to respond to that bc if I told her I was gay then she would yell at me

**softboyuwu:** so I had a nice family christmas

**shauna-the-lesbian:** we luv homophobic parents  😔✌ ️

**softboyuwu:** 😔✌ ️

**smolbean.but.mean:** ash and his mom came over on christmas eve and that was c h a o t i c

**nini_is_trying:** ofc

**smolbean.but.mean:** clemont and ash mainly just hung out in clemont’s room and did boy things so I ended up just listening to my dad and ms. ketchum’s convos

**_truekalosqueen_:** my mom made me go to some rhyhorn racer party on christmas eve  🙄

**_truekalosqueen_:** but other than that my mom and I just hung out on christmas day so that was nice :)

**tienro:** I had family over for a family reunion at my house which eventually got boring so I just texted trevor the whole time

**MemeMaster:** I had family fly in for Hanukkah

**15YearsWasted:** my family didn’t do a lot for christmas :/ and that was pretty lame so I ended up just hanging out with friends from school

**bluehair-dontcare:** eh I just had a normal family christmas ig

**bluehair-dontcare:** wbu nini

**nini_is_trying:** same as u miette uwu my christmas was kinda boring :/

**bluehair-dontcare:** that sucks :/ im sorry

**nini_is_trying:** its fine ^w^

**dumbhoe:** fshns whqin dheiwnw evducixbw wbqiakajaijn2!18- h&/!2 whwjsj!bawjjwnw hzskwkwnwb$janwwbsisja s sh

**softboyuwu:** ash r u okay???

**dumbhoe:** aqkzisnwn w ss snjddhhejwwmmwkahcbwiakwbehdjcjdbebebejdjdjdnsnskwowjdbfbrbejdos

**cheeto-puff:** is ash having a stroke or smthng wtf is happening?

**dumbhoe:** xkwnibrabsapqtwepaggpapxeyagibtpkk

**Mother:** Ash please answer us r u okay???

**_truekalosqueen_:** ash ur scaring us…

**dumbhoe:** skaosnzb hsians a jJ ssbjska zx hzin. N&n ./ jakN bjiskan & 😴 ↘️ 💀🙈🙈 ↘️ 🤦🏻 ♀ ️ 🙈 !&jaiwns zh 😦🥺✋✌ ️ 🤡☺ ️ 😤 ’sisjsn

**shauna-the-lesbian:** I hope he’s dying

**tienro:** SHAUNA

**shauna-the-lesbian:** what???

**softboyuwu:** ash pls just say something r u okay im really nervous rn

**dumbhoe:** ❤ ️ ❤ ️ ❤ ️ ❤ ️ ➡️➡️➡️➡️

**Mother:** ash????

**dumbhoe:** 👦🏻❤ ️ 👦🏻👦🏻

**_truekalosqueen_:** w h a t

**15YearsWasted:** secret message? owo 

**tienro:** 🤔

**dumbhoe:** OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH

**bluehair-dontcare:** what just happened??

**dumbhoe:** omg guys I am so sorry pikachu got a hold of my phone while I was in the bathroom and started typing random stuff and then he figured out emojis exist and started typing random emojis I am so so sorry I didn’t mean to scare y’all like that

**Mother:** oh thank arceus

**_truekalosqueen_:** its okay lmao

**softboyuwu:** its okay uwu

**MemeMaster:** That’s actually hilarious

**dumbhoe:** also

**dumbhoe: @shauna-the-lesbian** I saw that u dumb bitch

**shauna-the-lesbian:** fight me thot

**dumbhoe:** square up whore

**bluehair-dontcare:** OKAYYY

**bluehair-dontcare:** it’s late y’all ima go to bed

**bluehair-dontcare:** gn

**nini_is_trying:** goodnight uwu

**_bluehair-dontcare_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**softboyuwu:** kdhdagwbjak

**Mother:** you okay?

**softboyuwu:** yea sorry I just tripped and spilt the glass of water I was carrying all over myself and now i’m all wet :(

**dumbhoe:** baby u make me wet

**softboyuwu:** what

**dumbhoe:** what

**MemeMaster:** Smooth Ketchum

**15YearsWasted:** HAHAHAHAHAH

**15YearsWasted:** GAY

**_truekalosqueen_:** Y’ALL WE’RE TRYING TO KEEP THE CHAT PG

**shauna-the-lesbian:** are we really tho

**smolbean.but.mean:** eh i’ve heard worse

**Mother:** BONNIE

**smolbean.but.mean:** WHAT

**cheeto-puff:** aaaaaaahh

**cheeto-puff:** aaaaaahhh

**cheeto-puff:** aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh

**tienro:** whats wrong trevs

**cheeto-puff:** I’m all out of sleep medication :(

**cheeto-puff:** I usually take it at night to sleep but now i’m all out and i prob won’t get any sleeeep

**tienro:** im sorry baby :(

**tienro:** I would come over to help u but my parents are on a date or smthng and I have to babysit my little brother

**cheeto-puff:** its okay :) thanks for offering tho

**tienro:** yw :)

**dumbhoe:** trevs just listen to whale noises to help you sleep

**dumbhoe:** that’s what I do

**cheeto-puff:** what

**cheeto-puff:** no

**cheeto-puff:** that’s literally the worst

**softboyuwu:** ash do u actually

**dumbhoe:** no lmao

**dumbhoe:** but one of my old friends used to

**softboyuwu:** ew

**softboyuwu:** disown them

**_truekalosqueen_:** im going to sleep goodnight gaymers

**shauna-the-lesbian:** goodniiigghttt

  
  


[ _ Screw Christmas _ ]

[ _ 3:00 am _ ]

  
  


**tienro:** someone get trevor his sleeping pills

**dumbhoe:** why

**tienro:** he just sent me a video of him reciting the entire “this is for rachel” tiktok

**softboyuwu:** fhdgsgsgs

**softboyuwu:** iconic

**cheeto-puff:** this is for rachel u big fat white nasty smelling fat bitch why u took me off the motherfucking schedule with yo trifling dirty white racist ass big fat bitch oompa loompa body ass bitch im coming up there and im gonna beat the fuck outta u bitch

**Mother:** _ oh _

**dumbhoe:** trevs pls just go to sleep

**cheeto-puff:** no u

**dumbhoe:** shit got me there

**tienro:** who else is awake

**softboyuwu:** just us I think

**dumbhoe:** yea

**tienro:** o

**tienro:** so why are y’all awake

**softboyuwu:** I just cant go to sleep for some reason :/

**Mother:** I stayed up late working on an invention again

**dumbhoe:** i’m watching “vines that keep me from ending it all”

**softboyuwu:** _ ash no- _

**Mother:** wbu tierno

**tienro:** eh

**tienro:** I cant sleep mainly bc im worried for trevs

**tienro:** but also I wanna stay awake to make sure he doesn’t kill himself

**Mother:** reasonable

**cheeto-puff:** hey guys what would happen if I combine my anxiety medication with a redbull

**dumbhoe:** _ trevor no _

**cheeto-puff:** I’m gonna call it Slowfast

**Mother:** TREVOR NO

**tienro:** okay that’s it

**tienro:** trevs just hang on im getting my stuff and im coming over to ur place

**cheeto-puff:** kk

**_tienro_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**dumbhoe:** ima go back to watching vines

**Mother:** alright lmao

**Mother:** just don’t stay up too late

**dumbhoe:** i’ll try not to

**_dumbhoe_ ** _ has left the chat! _

  
  
  


[ _ clmnt — swyr _ ]

__

**clmnt:** hey

**swyr:** hey

**clmnt:** u okay?

**swyr:** yea just tired :/

**swyr:** why do u ask?

**clmnt:** I was just worried after what u said about ur christmas in the main chat

**swyr:** oh yea…

**swyr:** my parents arent the most accepting people….

**clmnt:** go on

**clmnt:** u can tell me

**swyr:** r u sure? I don’t want to annoy u with my emotional baggage

**clmnt:** sawyer ur emotions arent annoying

**clmnt:** u can open up to me about anything u feel comfortable with telling me. That’s what friends are for

**swyr:** thanks clem :)

**swyr:** okay…

**swyr:** ever since I was little my parents have been extremely strict and religious on me

**swyr:** they would force their beliefs and opinions and tell me what they believe is a “sin” and try to tell me to be something i’m not

**swyr:** I always kinda knew that it was wrong for them to try to force me to believe stuff but I guess I never said anything

**swyr:** but overtime I started meeting new people, meeting new boys, and developing celebrity crushes *cough cough* steven stone *cough cough*

**swyr:** and that’s around the time I realized I was gay. It high key sucked because of course I turned out to be the ONE thing my parents didn’t want me to be

**swyr:** so when I tried to come out to them, it turned out to be a disaster. So much of a disaster that they kicked me out of the house and sent me to live with my aunt in Kalos. They told me I was allowed to live with them whenever I stopped “deciding to be gay” and I was only allowed back for holidays (like christmas)

**swyr:** but then in Kalos I met u, ash, serena, bonnie, and everyone else, and tbh you guys completely turned my life around

**swyr:** y’all made me believe in myself in a way I never had before and I actually felt comfortable enough to be myself for once

**swyr:** so when I came out to y’all, you guys were the first people to ever accept me

**clmnt:** sawyer…

**swyr:** so yeah that’s years of emotional baggage that I didn’t expect to unpack tonight

**clmnt:** first of all, thank you so much for sharing that with me. I know it must of taken a lot

**clmnt:** second of all, it sounds like you need to sit down and have a serious talk with your parents. Tell them that this is who you are and you’re not going to change, and they need to accept you for that. And if they still don’t, then fuck them. You have us as ur family and we will always accept you no matter what :)

**swyr:** thank you clemont, that means a lot :)

**swyr:** i’ll try to have that talk with my parents next time I see them…

**clmnt:** i’ll be right behind you when you do

**clmnt:** so will ash probably

**swyr:** THAT’S ANOTHER THING

**swyr:** ash tells me that he has a crush on you, which is perfectly fine, but then he goes in the chat and says shit like “baby u make me wet”

**swyr:** I mean seriously what is up with that guy????

**clmnt:** yeah ash is… interesting

**clmnt:** he just makes really stupid jokes sometimes. He just says whatever comes to mind without thinking of how it might affect people’s feelings

**swyr:** tell me about it

**clmnt:** lets just both agree that ash is a complete dumbass

**swyr:** 100% agreed

**clmnt:** lmao

**swyr:** fhsgsg

**swyr:** I think im gonna try to go to sleep now

**swyr:** thanks for talking to me clemont :)

**clmnt:** anytime :)

  
  
  


[ _ sciencegay — performingbi _ ]

  
  
  


**sciencegay:** I think I have a crush on Sawyer

**performingbi:** oh shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated Usernames:
> 
> Prof. Sycamore- TheOfficialKalosProfessor   
> Ash- dumbhoe  
> Serena- _truekalosqueen_  
> Clemont- Mother  
> Bonnie- smolbean.but.mean  
> Shauna- shauna-the-lesbian  
> Tierno- tienro  
> Trevor- cheeto-puff  
> Sawyer- softboyuwu  
> Alain- MemeMaster  
> Mairin- 15YearsWasted  
> Miette- bluehair-dontcare  
> Nini- nini_is_trying


	8. Disney Channel and Dad Jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dumbhoe: U DON’T GET TO BOSS ME AROUND ANYMORE
> 
> dumbhoe: IM A GROWN MAN
> 
> Mother: WELL YOU SURE DON’T ACT LIKE IT
> 
> shauna-the-lesbian: mom and dad are fighting again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally made another chapter gaymers
> 
> just a warning this one's kinda long and possesses true crackhead nature
> 
> enjoy

**_dumbhoe_ ** _ has changed the chat name to [ _ **_chicken noodle soup_ ** _ ]! _

**softboyuwu:** ash what-

**dumbhoe:** hear me out

**dumbhoe:** chicken noodle soup

**MemeMaster:** How much sleep did you get last night?

**dumbhoe:** not important

**dumbhoe:** but what IS important is chicken noodle soup

**Mother:** ???

**bluehair-dontcare:** I just woke up tf is going on

**softboyuwu:** idek

**dumbhoe:** NOT ONLY does chicken noodle soup taste good

**dumbhoe:** but it also has a pretty fun name

**dumbhoe:** like just say chicken noodle soup 5 times fast

**dumbhoe:** chicken noodle soup chicken noodle soup chicken noodle soup chicken noodle soup chicken noodle soup

**shauna-the-lesbian:** guys I think he finally snapped

**tienro:** rip ash

**Mother:** Ash

**dumbhoe:** yis

**Mother:** how much sleep did you get last night????

**dumbhoe:** uhhhhhhh

**dumbhoe:** three

**Mother:** hours??

**dumbhoe:** minutes

**shauna-the-lesbian:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

**cheeto-puff:** lmao even I got more sleep than u and I didn’t even have my sleep medications

**dumbhoe:** WELL U HAD UR BOYFRIEND COME OVER TO CUDDLE W/ U

**cheeto-puff:** _ touché _

**15YearsWasted:** well since ash is cracked up on lack of sleep

**softboyuwu:** like trevor was in the group chat last night

**cheeto-puff:** sshhhhghhhhh we don’t talk about that

**Mother:** Trevor did you actually combine ur anxiety meds and a Redbull?

**cheeto-puff:** NO

**cheeto-puff:** that’s a dumb idea

**cheeto-puff:** also bc tierno came over and stopped me from doing it

**tienro:** HE HAD A PILL BOTTLE IN ONE HAND

**tienro:** AND A REDBULL IN THE OTHER

**tienro:** AND HE WAS JUST READY TO  _ POUR  _ THE PILLS INTO THE REDBULL

**cheeto-puff:** THE PILLS WOULD DISSOLVE IN THE REDBULL

**cheeto-puff:** ITS GENIUS

**softboyuwu:** fam u were literally about to create a cursed ™ drug and name it Slowfast nothing about that is genius

**cheeto-puff:** eh u rite ig

**shauna-the-lesbian:** wait I missed sum stuff

**_truekalosqueen_:** just scroll up

**shauna-the-lesbian:** oh yeah

**dumbhoe:** DUMB BITCH

**shauna-the-lesbian:** u know what ash

**shauna-the-lesbian:** fight me

**shauna-the-lesbian:** literally

**shauna-the-lesbian:** fucking fight me

**dumbhoe:** aight let’s pokemon battle bitch

**shauna-the-lesbian:** when and where hoe

**dumbhoe:** meet me at the lumiose gym battlefield in 20 mins

**shauna-the-lesbian:** fine

**dumbhoe:** fine

**_shauna-the-lesbian_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**_dumbhoe_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**_truekalosqueen_:** oh jeez

**Mother:** well, there they go

**Mother:** wait the LUMIOSE GYM!?

**Mother:** SHIT NOT IN MY GYM

**_Mother_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**cheeto-puff:** I kinda wanna go see that battle

**tienro:** i’ll come w/ u

**tienro:** I wanna see shaunee kick ash’s sorry ass

**cheeto-puff:** hecc yea

**_cheeto-puff_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**_tienro_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**smolbean.but.mean:** i’m coming too!

**_smolbean.but.mean_ ** _ has left the chat! _

  
  


[ _ chicken noodle soup _ ]

[ _ 10:30 am _ ]

  
  


**_dumbhoe_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**_shauna-the-lesbian_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**_Mother_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**_cheeto-puff_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**_tienro_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**_smolbean.but.mean_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**cheeto-puff:** LMAOOO SHAUNA’S VENUSAUR ACTUALLY BEAT ASH’S GRENINJA

**softboyuwu:** WHATTTT

**15YearsWasted:** HAHAHAHAHA

**Mother:** Ash what just happened

**dumbhoe:** IM SLEEP DEPRIVED OKAY???

**dumbhoe:** I WASN’T SURE WHAT WAS GOING ON MOST OF THE TIME DURING THAT BATTLE

**shauna-the-lesbian:** sucks to suck ketchum

**dumbhoe:** >:(

**MemeMaster:** So

**MemeMaster:** Were you sleep deprived during the Kalos League too?

**_truekalosqueen_:** OH MY FUCKING GOD

**shauna-the-lesbian:** HAHAHAHAHAH

**softboyuwu:** IM-

**cheeto-puff:** LMAOOOOO

**tienro:** DO U NEED SOME ICE FOR THAT BURN ASH OH MY GODDDD

**15YearsWasted:** IM SCREAMING ALAIN THAT’S GREAT

**smolbean.but.mean:** I think ash just died

**bluehair-dontcare:** ash r u dead

**dumbhoe:** physically and emotionally yes

**dumbhoe:** I can no longer feel anything anymore

**dumbhoe:** I have been completely and utterly backstabbed by alain

**dumbhoe:** I thought I could trust u alain

**dumbhoe:** but now im not even sure who I can trust anymore

**dumbhoe:** this is what it feels like to be left in the darkness alone by ur own friends

**dumbhoe:** there is no light at the end of the tunnel

**dumbhoe:** only a pitch black emptiness that’s slowly eating me away

**nini_is_trying:** 🎶 hello darkness my old frienddd 🎶

**cheeto-puff:** ive come to talk with you againnnn

**Mother:** Ash quit being so dramatic

**dumbhoe:** there’s nothing left for me anymore clemont

**Mother:** Arceus save us

**dumbhoe:** only a cruel black hole that’s waiting to swallow u up

**dumbhoe:** I don’t know who I can trust anymore

**dumbhoe:** if I cant trust my own friends then who can I trust

**softboyuwu:** _ ash— _

**dumbhoe:** where do I go from this point

**dumbhoe:** do I just try to move on from this soul crushing betrayal?

**softboyuwu:** _ a s h _

**dumbhoe:** or do I let myself slowly succumb to the darkness

**softboyuwu:** _ ASH _

**dumbhoe:** let the light leave my body and let whats left of my soul escape this cruel realm

**softboyuwu:** ASH KETCHUM

**dumbhoe:** what

**softboyuwu:** we’re joking we still love you

**dumbhoe:** oh

**Mother:** yeah dipshit

**dumbhoe:** HEY

**_truekalosqueen_:** that-

**_truekalosqueen_:** that was so dramatic for no reason

**cheeto-puff:** ive never seen ash use such big words before

**cheeto-puff:** and actually  _ spell them right _

**15YearsWasted:** ash your dramatic monologue still doesn’t change the fact that you lost to shauna

**dumbhoe:** >:(

**shauna-the-lesbian:** yall have to give him more credit lmao

**shauna-the-lesbian:** on a normal day ash definitely would’ve been able to beat me

**shauna-the-lesbian:** but ash

**shauna-the-lesbian:** like the fucking IMBECILE he is

**dumbhoe:** R00D

**shauna-the-lesbian:** forgot to get some sleep

**shauna-the-lesbian:** today he was sleep deprived and didn’t know what he was doing but normally he would definitely be able to beat me

**dumbhoe:** thanks shauna :)

**shauna-the-lesbian:** im still not gonna let u live this down tho

**dumbhoe:** fuck u too

**tienro:** and so the rivalry continues

**_truekalosqueen_:** um…

**_truekalosqueen_:** I just got a really weird call???

**_truekalosqueen_:** from my  _ dad _ ????

**shauna-the-lesbian:** oh shit

**Mother:** what did he say?

**_truekalosqueen_:** he called me to  _ congratulate  _ me about the whole saving kalos thing

**_truekalosqueen_:** I told him that happened 2 years ago

**_truekalosqueen_:** then the line kinda went silent for a while

**_truekalosqueen_:** and then he asked me to come  _ visit him in Johto???? _

**_truekalosqueen_:** I told him to talk to my mom about it and then we just kinda said our goodbyes and hung up????

**softboyuwu:** that sounds major sus????

**_truekalosqueen_:** it WAS

**dumbhoe:** gotta love absent fathers

**dumbhoe:** they leave for a majority of your life and then only come back if u get rich or famous

**dumbhoe:** or both

**cheeto-puff:** tru tru

**MemeMaster:** How do you know this Ash?

**dumbhoe:** at farmer’s insurance we know a thing or two because we’ve  _ seen  _ a thing or two

**_truekalosqueen_:** we are farmers bum ba dum bum bum bum bum

**15YearsWasted:** OH NO

**bluehair-dontcare:** HAHAHAHAHAH

**Mother:** ASH AND SERENA

**_truekalosqueen_:** WHATTT

**dumbhoe:** IT WAS FUNNY CLEM

**Mother:** DON’T YOU “CLEM” ME

**dumbhoe:** U DON’T GET TO BOSS ME AROUND ANYMORE

**dumbhoe:** IM A GROWN MAN

**Mother:** WELL YOU SURE DON’T ACT LIKE IT

**shauna-the-lesbian:** mom and dad are fighting again

**Mother:** STAY OUT OF THIS SHAUNA

**dumbhoe:** STAY OUT OF THIS SHAUNA

**dumbhoe:** oh shit

**Mother:** jinx

**Mother:** you owe me a soda

**dumbhoe:** _ f u c k _

**tienro:** problem solved

**softboyuwu:** guys pls stop  _ spamming  _ im trying to watch  _ disney channel _

**shauna-the-lesbian:** soft boy energy

**softboyuwu:** shUT UP

**bluehair-dontcare:** why are you even watching disney channel sawyer??

**softboyuwu:** coz im laying in bed and the thing playing rn is disney and im too lazy to get up and change the channel 

**bluehair-dontcare:** that’s fair

**tienro:** disney channel’s  _ stupid _

**softboyuwu:** ur  _ stupid _

**shauna-the-lesbian:** shake it up was the best show on disney channel no cap  😤

**cheeto-puff:** wizards of waverly place was better

**shauna-the-lesbian:** shut up trevor ur opinions don’t matter

**cheeto-puff:** shauna I KNOW u only watched shake it up bc ur gay ass thought zendaya and bella thorne were hot

**shauna-the-lesbian:** SHUT UP TREVOR UR OPINIONS DON’T MATTER-

**_truekalosqueen_:** shauna  _ really _

**shauna-the-lesbian:** DON’T JUDGE ME ZENDAYA’S FUCKING HOT

**_truekalosqueen_:** cant argue with that

**nini_is_trying:** hi my name is bella thorne :) and this is the story of the time I found out I had  _ d y s l e x i a _

**tienro:** hi my name is bella thorne :) and this is the story of the time I found out I was addicted to  _ c r a c k _

**nini_is_trying:** _ oh _

**15YearsWasted:** LMAOOOOO

**softboyuwu:** O K A Y

**shauna-the-lesbian:** bella thorne is a crackhead confirmed

**Mother:** hey  **@softboyuwu** why are u just laying in bed? :(

**softboyuwu:** cuz im sick :(

**Mother:** that sucks :( im sorry

**dumbhoe:** :o

**dumbhoe:** wut u sick w/  _ bb _

**softboyuwu:** _ f l u _

**dumbhoe:** rip :(

**smolbean.but.mean:** I love how this chat has become a place where we express our true crackhead nature but also talk about our serious emotional problems and then proceed to make jokes about it

**shauna-the-lesbian:** i-

**shauna-the-lesbian:** _ yea that’s pretty accurate _

**MemeMaster:** The young one’s got a point

**cheeto-puff:** that’s honestly so true

**cheeto-puff:** like do u know how many times ash, serena, and I have made an “absent parent” joke

**_truekalosqueen_:** fhdgsgsgs

**_truekalosqueen_:** we’re the absent parent gang  😌✌ ️

**cheeto-puff:** 😌✌ ️

**dumbhoe:** 😌✌ ️

**bluehair-dontcare:** I love how bonnie barely speaks and just logs on to speak the truth

**smolbean.but.mean:** lmao yeah

**nini_is_trying:** this conversation transitioned so fast-

**nini_is_trying:** but yea that’s pretty true

**softboyuwu:** ^^

**_TheOfficialKalosProfessor_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**TheOfficialKalosProfessor:** Sawyer go to bed

**softboyuwu:** no

**softboyuwu:** make me

**dumbhoe:** OH SHIT

**tienro:** he LOGS ON

**tienro:** AFTER LIKE 2 MONTHS

**tienro:** JUST TO TELL SAWYER TO TAKE A NAP

**TheOfficialKalosProfessor:** He’s sick!

**softboyuwu:** I do what I  ✨ _ w a n t _ ✨

**shauna-the-lesbian:** no u literally don’t

**Mother:** Sawyer pls go take a nap we care about your  ✨ _ h e a l t h _ ✨

**softboyuwu:** ✨ _ f i n e _ ✨

**softboyuwu:** thanks mom

**softboyuwu:** thanks grandpa  **@TheOfficialKalosProfessor**

**TheOfficialKalosProfessor:** What

**_softboyuwu_ ** _ has changed  _ **_TheOfficialKalosProfessor_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_Grandpa_ ** _! _

**_softboyuwu_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**bluehair-dontcare:** valid

**dumbhoe:** _ thanks grandpa _

**shauna-the-lesbian:** _ thanks grandpa _

**cheeto-puff:** _ thanks grandpa _

**tienro:** _ thanks grandpa _

**_truekalosqueen_:** _ thanks grandpa _

**Mother:** _ thanks grandpa _

**15YearsWasted:** _ thanks grandpa _

**smolbean.but.mean:** _ thanks grandpa _

**nini_is_trying:** _ thanks grandpa _

**MemeMaster:** _ thanks grandpa _

**bluehair-dontcare:** _ thanks grandpa _

**Grandpa:** You’re welcome…

**15YearsWasted:** I could feel his deep sigh through the screen

**Grandpa:** :)

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**smolbean.but.mean:** well that happened

**cheeto-puff:** we all possess a different type of crackhead energy

**smolbean.but.mean:** ^^^

**dumbhoe:** last night I had the strangest dream

**shauna-the-lesbian:** literally shut up

**MemeMaster:** About what???

**dumbhoe:** I sailed away to china

**_truekalosqueen_:** in a little rowboat to find ya

**MemeMaster:** Is this a TikTok reference?¿

**shauna-the-lesbian:** THE FACT THAT U FELL FOR IT

**MemeMaster:** I’M SORRY I’M UNEDUCATED ACCORDING TO MAIRIN

**dumbhoe:** and u said u had to get ur laundry cleaned

**15YearsWasted:** didn’t want no one to hold ya  😤🚫

**cheeto-puff:** ?what does that mean¿

**nini_is_trying:** and u said  💬

**tienro:** AINT NOTHIN GONNA BREAK MY STRIDE

**dumbhoe:** NOBODY GONNA SLOW ME DOWN

**_truekalosqueen_:** OH NOOO

**_softboyuwu_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**softboyuwu:** I got to keep on movingggg

**Mother:** SAWYER

**softboyuwu:** I HAD TO IM SORRY

**shauna-the-lesbian:** tiktok actually scares me

**_truekalosqueen_:** its not that bad

**shauna-the-lesbian:** trevor literally stayed up til 3am memorizing the “this is for rachel” tiktok

**cheeto-puff:** I don’t even remember memorizing it

**cheeto-puff:** I just woke up and I  _ knew it _

**bluehair-dontcare:** send a recording of u saying it rn

**cheeto-puff:** why

**bluehair-dontcare:** scientific purposes

**_cheeto-puff_ ** _ has sent a Voice Message to the chat [ _ **_thisisforrachel.mp3_ ** _ ]! _

**15YearsWasted:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

**tienro:** okay imagine that

**tienro:** but at 3am when ur trying to get him to go to sleep

**_truekalosqueen_:** FHDGSGSG

**tienro:** we’re just laying in bed and then I hear trevor next to me start saying “this is for rachel u big fat white-“

**shauna-the-lesbian:** omfg

**cheeto-puff:** IM SORRYYYY

**bluehair-dontcare:** this is great

**softboyuwu:** im laughing so hard my stomach is cramping up pls help

**softboyuwu:** also it hurts to laugh bc of my  ✨ _ s o r e _ ✨ ✨ _ t h r o a t _ ✨

**Mother:** Sawyer pls go to sleep

**softboyuwu:** ✨ _ m a k e _ _ ✨ ✨ _ _ m e _ _ ✨ _

**dumbhoe:** hey  **@softboyuwu**

**dumbhoe:** im coming over

**softboyuwu:** wait

**softboyuwu:** no

**softboyuwu:** you’ll get the flu too

**dumbhoe:** I really don’t care

**softboyuwu:** _ ash please _

**dumbhoe:** _ I don’t care _

**softboyuwu:** _ yes you do _

**dumbhoe:** im coming over

**dumbhoe:** try to fucking stop me flu boy

**_dumbhoe_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**softboyuwu:** FHDGSGSGSG

**nini_is_trying:** “flu boy” lmaooo

**_truekalosqueen_:** this chat is on some high class crack

**smolbean.but.mean:** ^^

**15YearsWasted:** ^^^

  
  


[ _ chicken noodle soup _ ]

[ _ 12:01 am _ ]

  
  


**softboyuwu:** ash got the flu

**softboyuwu:** you’ll never guess how

**15YearsWasted:** HAHAHAHA

**shauna-the-lesbian:** haha

**shauna-the-lesbian:** dumb bitch

**_dumbhoe_ ** _ joined the chat! _

**dumbhoe:** FUCKING FIGHT ME SHAUNA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha i made sawyer sick bc i was sick and i enjoy watching other characters experience my suffering
> 
> Usernames:  
> Prof. Sycamore- Grandpa  
> Ash- dumbhoe  
> Serena- _truekalosqueen_  
> Clemont- Mother  
> Bonnie- smolbean.but.mean  
> Shauna- shauna-the-lesbian  
> Tierno- tienro  
> Trevor- cheeto-puff  
> Sawyer- softboyuwu  
> Alain- MemeMaster  
> Mairin- 15YearsWasted  
> Miette- bluehair-dontcare  
> Nini- nini_is_trying


	9. Corona Virus and The "Renegade"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cheeto-puff: OH SHITTT
> 
> cheeto-puff: wait but i’m not christian
> 
> Mother: Neither was the Virgin Mary
> 
> cheeto-puff: OH SHITTT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey here's a new chaotic chapter from a chaotic gay
> 
> uh i dont have anything much to say except slight TW for this chapter?  
> TW//pregnancy mention/jokes about pregnancy
> 
> nobody's pregnant (they're like teenagers lmao) they just makes jokes about it coz they're dumb stupid teens
> 
> anyways, enjoy this
> 
> (hey idk how pokemon money works so i just used the regular american money system. sorry for any confusion)

**bluehair-dontcare:** hey ash and sawyer

**bluehair-dontcare:** how’s the flu treating y’all

**softboyuwu:** ive actually gotten a little bit better!

**softboyuwu:** cant say the same for ash tho :/

**dumbhoe:** my limbs hurt

**softboyuwu:** I tried to warn u

**softboyuwu:** hahaha yall missed it ash got yelled at by my aunt

**_truekalosqueen_:** wait really!?!??

**Mother:** what happened???

**softboyuwu:** she had to separate us whenever she found out ash was sick

**softboyuwu:** she then  _ yelled at ash _ for crawling through my bedroom window just to hang out w/ me while I was sick

**dumbhoe:** ur aunt’s scary

**softboyuwu:** yea ik

**softboyuwu:** she then drove ash home after that

**softboyuwu:** what did she say to u in the car???

**dumbhoe:** _ you don’t want to know _

**softboyuwu:** fhdgsgsg that’s fair

**15YearsWasted:** that’s-

**15YearsWasted:** that’s eventful

**cheeto-puff:** hey  **@softboyuwu**

**cheeto-puff:** _ did u get me sick _

**softboyuwu:** what

**softboyuwu:** no

**cheeto-puff:** :/

**softboyuwu:** TREVOR I SWEAR I DIDN’T GET U SICK PROMISE

**tienro:** sawyer’s just giving all of us the corona virus one by one

**smolbean.but.mean:** ✨ _ its corona time _ ✨

**softboyuwu:** NO IM NOT

**MemeMaster:** Trevor what happened?

**cheeto-puff:** ehhh I woke up this morning with a bad stomach ache and I was throwing up like every 10 mins

**15YearsWasted:** rip

**nini_is_trying:** maybe ur pregnant

**cheeto-puff:** fdusgsgsg

**cheeto-puff:** my virgin ass could neverrr

**bluehair-dontcare:** virgin mary?

**cheeto-puff:** OH SHITTT

**cheeto-puff:** wait but i’m not christian

**Mother:** Neither was the Virgin Mary

**cheeto-puff:** OH SHITTT

**shauna-the-lesbian:** yall shut up tierny’s about to have a heart attack

**cheeto-puff:** ahhh srry babe :(

**tienro:** ur not pregnant right????

**cheeto-puff:** tierno

**cheeto-puff:** babe

**tienro:** IM JUST MAKING SURE

**cheeto-puff:** no tierno im not pregnant

**cheeto-puff:** my sister took me to the doctor its just a stomach virus

**MemeMaster:** Wait, Trevor are you not fully transitioned yet?

**cheeto-puff:** _ how much money do u think I have _

**MemeMaster:** How much does bottom surgery cost?

**cheeto-puff:** _ $24,900 _

**MemeMaster:** Well, damn

**shauna-the-lesbian:** rip trevor’s bank account

**cheeto-puff:** tru

**dumbhoe:** I feel sick

**bluehair-dontcare:** well no shit sherlock

**dumbhoe:** but actually I feel  _ really  _ sick

**bluehair-dontcare:** again, no shit

**dumbhoe:** ive never felt so sick in my life

**bluehair-dontcare:** well u shouldn’t have crawled through sawyer’s bedroom window

**dumbhoe:** but what if  _ wanted  _ to

**Mother:** well now you’re sick sooo…

**Mother:** was it worth it?

**dumbhoe:** _ yes _

**dumbhoe:** _ ive won but at what cost _

**Mother:** Oh ffs

**softboyuwu:** ash u should be resting!!!

**dumbhoe:** u should too!!!

**softboyuwu:** that’s fair

**dumbhoe:** im bored anyways

**dumbhoe:** hey sawyer u should come over

**softboyuwu:** no

**softboyuwu:** im not doing this again

**dumbhoe:** pleeeeaaaasseeee

**softboyuwu:** aunt charlotte will yell at me!!!!

**dumbhoe:** don’t listen to scary aunt charlotte!!!

**shauna-the-lesbian:** “scary aunt charlotte”

**softboyuwu:** that’s what ash and clemont have been calling her ever since they met her

**Mother:** Good ol’ Charlotte

**dumbhoe:** hey clemont ;)

**Mother:** Ash no I don’t want your corona

**dumbhoe:** FHDGSGSGSG

**softboyuwu:** I DIDN’T GIVE ASH CORONA

**cheeto-puff:** :/

**softboyuwu:** OR TREVOR

**cheeto-puff:** _ d o u b t _

**dumbhoe:** _ d o u b t _

**tienro:** lmao why is there like three people in the chat rn that are sick

**smolbean.but.mean:** make that four

**nini_is_trying:** you too?

**smolbean.but.mean:** nah but I just saw clemont break down in a violent fit of coughs

**smolbean.but.mean:** _ sawyer quit spreading ur corona _

**softboyuwu:** I DON’T HAVE CORONA

**dumbhoe:** _ press x to doubt _

**cheeto-puff:** x

**Mother:** x

**smolbean.but.mean:** x

**tienro:** x

**_truekalosqueen_:** x

**nini_is_trying:** x

**bluehair-dontcare:** x

**shauna-the-lesbian:** x

**15YearsWasted:** x

**MemeMaster:** x

**softboyuwu:** EVERYONE!!?!?!

**dumbhoe:** _ sawyer the council has decided ur fate _

**dumbhoe:** _ u have the corona virus _

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**Grandpa:** X

**Grandpa:** Oh, sorry, am I too late?

**shauna-the-lesbian:** nah, you’re good professor!

**softboyuwu:** EVEN THE PROFESSOR

**softboyuwu:** IVE NEVER FELT SO BETRAYED

**tienro:** lmao I love how everytime he logs on it’s just to roast sawyer

**softboyuwu:** WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS

**Grandpa:** Sawyer, you should be getting some rest

**Grandpa:** You should too, Ash!

**dumbhoe:** fine

**dumbhoe:** only if sawyer joins me <3 <3

**softboyuwu:** …

**shauna-the-lesbian:** ash stop being gay and go to sleep

**dumbhoe:** ugh fine

**_dumbhoe_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**softboyuwu:** I want to yeet myself into the sun

**nini_is_trying:** damn whatta mood

**_softboyuwu_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**Grandpa:** As for Clemont and Trevor...

**cheeto-puff:** yis?

**Mother:** professor?

**Grandpa:** Make sure you get plenty of rest and take your vitamins! And stay away from Ash and Sawyer unless you wanna catch their corona!

**Mother:** Yes, sir

**cheeto-puff:** lmao I don’t even like ash anyways

**Grandpa:** Good

**Grandpa:** Stay healthy everyone!

**Mother:** thanks, professor!

**cheeto-puff:** thank u fatherly figure  🥺

**Grandpa:** …

**Grandpa:** Now if you excuse me, I need to go cry

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**shauna-the-lesbian:** TREVOR U BROKE HIM

**cheeto-puff:** OH WAIT NO AHHHHH

**nini_is_trying:** that’s so sweet  🥺

**15YearsWasted:** we stan one (1) parental unit in this group chat  😤

**_15YearsWasted_ ** _ has changed the chat name to [ _ **_Thanks Grandpa_ ** _ ]! _

**MemeMaster:** This ^^^

**tienro:** iconic

**_truekalosqueen_:** who wants to make a tiktok with me?

**shauna-the-lesbian:** me!!!

**tienro:** shauna I thought u hated tiktok

**shauna-the-lesbian:** shhhhhhhhh

**_truekalosqueen_:** shauna come over I can teach u renegade!

**shauna-the-lesbian:** hell yeah!

**_shauna-the-lesbian_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**__truekalosqueen__ ** _ has left the chat! _

**tienro:** wow

**15YearsWasted:** _ they’re lesbians, tierno _

**cheeto-puff:** fhsgsgsgsggsgsgs

**cheeto-puff:** hey  **@shauna-the-lesbian** quit being so thirsty

**_shauna-the-lesbian_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**shauna-the-lesbian:** SHUT

**shauna-the-lesbian:** UP

**__truekalosqueen__ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**_truekalosqueen_:** what did u say, trevor?

**cheeto-puff:** uhhhhh

**Mother:** 👀

**smolbean.but.mean:** 👀

**nini_is_trying:** 👀

**bluehair-dontcare:** 👀

**15YearsWasted:** 👀

**MemeMaster:** 👀

**_tienro_ ** _ has changed  _ **_shauna-the-lesbian_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_thirstygay_ ** _! _

**thirstygay:** i-

**thirstygay:** honestly I would be offended but tbh this username’s kinda funny

**MemeMaster:** Hey, Serena?

**MemeMaster:** What is “renegade”?

**_truekalosqueen_:** omg

**_truekalosqueen_:** its this dance on tiktok

**_truekalosqueen_:** alain u HAVE to learn it

**MemeMaster:** What

**MemeMaster:** No

**15YearsWasted:** alain pls google the renegade

**MemeMaster:** Okay

**_MemeMaster_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**_truekalosqueen_:** im so scared

**_truekalosqueen_:** is he googling it?

**15YearsWasted:** I think so

**_MemeMaster_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**MemeMaster:** Serena what the hell

**_truekalosqueen_:** HAHAHAHAH

**MemeMaster:** That dance is so dumb

**MemeMaster:** Also, who is Charli D’Amelio?

**_truekalosqueen_:** HFGDGSGSGSGSG

**cheeto-puff:** _ cut the cameras _

**15YearsWasted:** ALAIN THIS IS WHERE U STOP ASKING QUESTIONS

**MemeMaster:** Seriously, who is she?

**15YearsWasted:** _ anyways _

**MemeMaster:** Mairin, answer the question

**15YearsWasted:** ANYWAYS

**15YearsWasted:** how’s everyone’s day going

**nini_is_trying:** eh good ig

**thirstygay:** serena’s trying to teach me renegade while tierno’s just in the corner watching

**tienro:** I literally have nothing else to do since trevor’s sick

**cheeto-puff:** 😙✌ ️

**_truekalosqueen_:** boom

**_truekalosqueen_:** bop

**_truekalosqueen_:** ba ba ba ba

**_truekalosqueen_:** wait

**_truekalosqueen_:** renegade

**_truekalosqueen_:** renegade

**_truekalosqueen_:** renegade

**_truekalosqueen_:** renegade

**_truekalosqueen_:** woo

**_truekalosqueen_:** wha

**_truekalosqueen_:** da da da

**_truekalosqueen_:** woo

**_truekalosqueen_:** woo

**_truekalosqueen_:** hah

**_truekalosqueen_:** hah

**_truekalosqueen_:** boom boom boom boom boom boom

**_softboyuwu_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**softboyuwu:** serena ily but pls shut up

**_truekalosqueen_:** that’s fair

**Mother:** Sawyer aren’t u supposed to be sleeping?

**softboyuwu:** I gave up on sleep

**MemeMaster:** Sleep is for the weak

**softboyuwu:** ^^^

**nini_is_trying:** _ sawyer and alain no _

**MemeMaster:** We never sleep

**softboyuwu:** sleep is for the weak

**15YearsWasted:** _ I hate y’all _

**softboyuwu:** :^)

**thirstygay:** that emoji is so cursed

**softboyuwu:** ik that’s why I love it

**MemeMaster:** Hey Sawyer

**softboyuwu:** yea?

**MemeMaster:** Who’s Charli D’Amelio?

**softboyuwu:** uhhhh

**_softboyuwu_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**thirstygay:** what

**thirstygay:** come back here hoe

**_thirstygay_ ** _ had added  _ **_softboyuwu_ ** _ to the chat! _

**softboyuwu:** _ shauna I hate u _

**MemeMaster:** Sawyer????

**softboyuwu:** uhhh

**softboyuwu:** shes a tiktok dancer

**softboyuwu:** yeah

**softboyuwu:** that’s it

**MemeMaster:** 👀

**softboyuwu:** STOP

**softboyuwu:** anyways

**softboyuwu:** why are y’all talking about charli lmao

**_truekalosqueen_:** i’m teaching shauna renegade!

**softboyuwu:** oh lord

**tienro:** lmao its actually really funny to watch them

**tienro:** shauna has no idea whats going on

**thirstygay:** WHY IS THIS DANCE SO HARD

**_truekalosqueen_:** its really not once u get the hang of it!

**bluehair-dontcare:** shauna u literally dance in pokemon performances surely learning a tiktok dance cant be that hard

**thirstygay:** _ u don’t know the half of it miette _

**15YearsWasted:** hey  **@Mother**

**15YearsWasted:** _ r u still sick? _

**Mother:** I’m not THAT sick

**Mother:** I think I just have a sinus infection

**Mother:** Why?

**15YearsWasted:** just wondering

**15YearsWasted:** alain was gonna drag me to ur gym coz he wants to do some training for some reason???

**15YearsWasted:** but i’m not trying to catch a case of corona so…

**Mother:** I’m not contagious or else I wouldn’t be working the gym rn

**15YearsWasted:** okay good

**tienro:** alain wut u training for??

**MemeMaster:** I haven’t battled in a while and I feel like I’m growing weaker as a trainer

**15YearsWasted:** that’s bs

**15YearsWasted:** but  _ whatever _

**cheeto-puff:** im laughing and crying rn

**bluehair-dontcare:** ddhsgsfsgsg

**Mother:** Alain, I don’t think you’re weak as a trainer

**Mother:** But my gym’s always open

**MemeMaster:** Thank you, Clemont

**15YearsWasted:** im coming too!

**15YearsWasted:** even tho alain’s being  _ ✨ _ _ emotional _ _ ✨ _

**MemeMaster:** >:(

**nini_is_trying:** how’s the tiktok dancing coming shauna??

**_truekalosqueen_:** she’s getting there!

**thirstygay:** TIERNO STOP LAUGHING AT ME

**tienro:** this is so entertaining

**_tienro_ ** _ has sent a  _ **_video_ ** _! [ _ _ shaunatriestiktok.mp3 _ ]

**bluehair-dontcare:** ew wtf is that dance

**tienro:** idek

**cheeto-puff:** HAHAHAHA SHAUNA

**thirstygay:** THIS IS BULLYING AND HARASSMENT

**thirstygay:** IM GOING TO xoqywnfkx

**nini_is_trying:** shauna??

**thirstygay:** sorry

**tienro:** shauna just sneezed and now she thinks she’s dying

**_smolbean.but.mean_ ** _ has changed the chat name to [ _ **_it’s corona time_ ** _ ]! _

**smolbean.but.mean:** sawyer quit giving people ur corona

**softboyuwu:** OH FOR THE LOVE OF—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prof. Sycamore- Grandpa  
> Ash- dumbhoe  
> Serena- _truekalosqueen_  
> Clemont- Mother  
> Bonnie- smolbean.but.mean  
> Shauna- thirstygay  
> Tierno- tienro  
> Trevor- cheeto-puff  
> Sawyer- softboyuwu  
> Alain- MemeMaster  
> Mairin- 15YearsWasted  
> Miette- bluehair-dontcare  
> Nini- nini_is_trying


	10. Emotional Baggage and Love Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tienro: hey ash on a scale from 1 to kaitlin bennet how poopy is ur diaper
> 
> thirstygay: HAHAHAHAHAHA
> 
> dumbhoe: kaitlin bennet definitely
> 
> Mother: Arceus save me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey sorry i swear im not dead
> 
> i hope everyone's doing okay with corona virus and everything! i'm here for emotional support if anyone needs me!! <3 <3
> 
> anyways, tw for this chapter?? it talks just a little more into detail about child abuse so...  
> !TW!: Mentions of Child Abuse!!!
> 
> sorry this chapter's kind of short i ran out of motivation. enjoy!!
> 
> also, fuck kaitlin bennet

**_dumbhoe_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**dumbhoe:** GUESS WHO’S NO LONGER SICK GAYMERS

**softboyuwu:** 😌✌ ️

**bluehair-dontcare:** ew why is he here again

**dumbhoe:** r00d

**bluehair-dontcare:** this chat was so much less chaotic without ash

**tienro:** um no it wasn’t

**cheeto-puff:** keep in mind that the chat name is still “its corona time”

**smolbean.but.mean:** _ and its going to stay that way _

**dumbhoe:** so

**dumbhoe:** um

**dumbhoe:** valentine’s day was a few days ago

**Mother:** Ash, Valentine’s Day was literally weeks ago what the hell are you talking about

**dumbhoe:** wait

**dumbhoe:** REALLY!!?!?

**bluehair-dontcare:** yeah dipshit

**dumbhoe:** #abuse

**dumbhoe:** I guess time flies when ur sick

**softboyuwu:** ash

**softboyuwu:** u were sick last week

**softboyuwu:** me you and clemont literally hung out on valentine’s day

**softboyuwu:** how do you not remember

**dumbhoe:** uh

**dumbhoe:** I suffer from ebola

**_truekalosqueen_:** _ what??? _

**dumbhoe:** *abesia

**dumbhoe:** **Alesia

**dumbhoe:** ***abolition

**dumbhoe:** ****amkneeseeah

**15YearsWasted:** its okay take ur time

**dumbhoe:** *****amnesia

**cheeto-puff:** that has nothing to do with the situation but go off I guess

**nini_is_trying:** trevs r u still sick?

**cheeto-puff:** nah

**thirstygay:** can we talk about how ash literally tried to spell amnesia like “amkneeseeah”

**dumbhoe:** #abuse

**dumbhoe:** ANYWAYS

**dumbhoe:** how is everyone on this fine morning

**bluehair-dontcare:** tired

**Mother:** fine

**cheeto-puff:** mediocre??

**softboyuwu:** good!

**thirstygay:** gay

**tienro:** shauna being gay isnt an emotion

**thirstygay:** shhhhhh

**dumbhoe:** why is ur name thirsty gay

**thirstygay:** idk ask tierno

**tienro:** what can i say except  _ yoU’RE WELCOME _

**_truekalosqueen_:** fhsgsgsgs

**15YearsWasted:** uhhhhh

**15YearsWasted:** brb

**_15YearsWasted_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**softboyuwu:** where are they going??

**MemeMaster:** No clue

  
  
  


[ **_Mairin_ ** _ has created a chat! _ ]

**_Mairin_ ** _ has added  _ **_Alain_ ** _ ,  _ **_Bonnie_ ** _ ,  _ **_Miette_ ** _ , and  _ **_Nini_ ** _ to the chat! _

**Mairin:** can we talk about the obvious here

**Miette:** mairin what is this

**Nini:** what obvious???

**Mairin:** the obvious group chat couples

**Alain:** I’m confused

**Bonnie:** r u talking about my brother, ash, and sawyer?

**Mairin:** YES

**Nini:** can we throw serena and shauna into the mix as well?

**Mairin:** YES

**Mairin:** I have a plan

**Miette:** oh arceus save us

**Mairin:** we need to get ash, sawyer, and clemont together somehow

**Alain:** Wait, what?

**Bonnie:** I read my brother’s texts if that contributes to the plan!

**Mairin:** WHAT DID IT SAY!?!??

**Miette:** tea?

**Bonnie:** he and serena were texting about ash and sawyer!

**Bonnie:** i’m pretty sure they all like each other they’re just too stupid to realize it

**Bonnie:** clemont likes ash and sawyer, ash likes clemont and sawyer, and idek about sawyer

**Miette:** can we just accept that sawyer’s life is an enigma

**Bonnie:** yes

**Bonnie:** _ a n y w a y s  _ we just need to work out a plan for them to get together

**Nini:** agreed!

**Alain:** Well, we already know Sawyer likes Ash, from his confession in the group chat

**Alain:** Also just because it was clearly obvious

**Nini:** FGSGSGSG

**Alain:** But unfortunately Sawyer doesn’t talk about his feelings much

**Mairin:** i dont blame him tbh

**Mairin:** BUT NONETHELESS

**Mairin:** we need to find out a way to get them to confess to one another

**Mairin:** give me ideas

**Alain:** Fake wedding

**Miette:** Lock them all together in a closet for an hour

**Nini:** blind date!

**Bonnie:** we host a party, except we only invite the three of them and then the host doesnt even show up so they’re forced to hang out

**Mairin:** i was thinking something more subtle???

**Miette:** lock them in a closet

**Mairin:** NO

**Miette:** lock them in a bathroom

**Mairin:** WE’RE NOT LOCKING ANYONE IN ANYWHERE

**Miette:** well than thats no fun

**Mairin:** nini what do u mean by blind date??

**Nini:** oh!

**Nini:** we set them up on a date!

**Nini:** but they dont  _ know  _ its a date

**Bonnie:** how is that gonna work?

**Nini:** idk im open to suggestions

**Miette:** I have an idea

**Nini:** ooo pls tell!

**Miette:** we invite them to the mall or smthng

**Miette:** we all hang out as a group for a little while

**Miette:** but then we somehow manage to ditch them

**Miette:** so then it’s just the three of them together

**Miette:** and once they’re alone...

**Miette:** we fIND A CLOSET AND LOCK THEM IN IT!!!

**Mairin:** OH FFS

**Alain:** What if we just threw a party and played Seven Minutes in Heaven?

**Mairin:** oh yeah

**Nini:** huh

**Bonnie:** i guess that could work

**Nini:** who’s house could we do this at?

**Mairin:** let’s throw a sleepover at the lab!

**Mairin:** prof sycamore wont mind, right alain?

**Alain:** I could probably work something out with him

**Mairin:** awesome!

**Mairin:** so sleepover at the lab this weekend and we get OT3 to play seven minutes in heaven

**Nini:** can we also get serena and shauna to play as well?

**Mairin:** HELL YEAH!!!

**Mairin:** the golden couples of the group chat will become real THIS WEEKEND

**Bonnie:** YAY!!

**Miette:** LOCK THEM UP LOCK THEM UP LOCK THEM UP

**Nini:** wow miette u really have a thing for locking people in tight enclosed spaces

**Miette:** :/

  
  
  


[ **it’s corona time** ]

  
  


**dumbhoe:** uhhh why did mairin, miette, nini, bonnie, and alain all leave at the same tine

**cheeto-puff:** wow he actually uses commas

**tienro:** idek

**thirstygay:** they’re planning something :/

**_truekalosqueen_:** definitely

**Mother:** Yeah Bonnie’s definitely up to something

**softboyuwu:** oof why did they leave the crackhead chaotic gays alone

**thirstygay:** FHSGSGSGSGHS

**dumbhoe:** _ its crackhead hours gaymers _

**_truekalosqueen_:** oh arceus help us

**dumbhoe:** what crackhead activity shall we do first

**thirstygay:** quote vines

**cheeto-puff:** actually megan i cant sit anywhere i have  _ hemorrhoids _

**softboyuwu:** fun fact i wasn’t entirely sure what a hemorrhoid was until i watched that one south park episode about it

**thirstygay:** _ that one south park episode _

**tienro:** sawyer there’s been a south park episode about literally everything u have to be more specific

**dumbhoe:** hey guys what if i were to just

**dumbhoe:** _ aggressively shit myself _

**Mother:** why

**cheeto-puff:** kaitlin bennet?

**_truekalosqueen_:** OOP-

**softboyuwu:** FHSGSGSHSGSGSFZG

**tienro:** hey ash on a scale from 1 to kaitlin bennet how poopy is ur diaper

**thirstygay:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

**dumbhoe:** kaitlin bennet definitely

**Mother:** Arceus save me

**_truekalosqueen_:** where are the others im starting to get nervous :/

**thirstygay:** hush serena its crackhead hours

**_truekalosqueen_:** ik but im  _ nervous _

**dumbhoe:** **_d͔̰̚̚ ͍̼̳͒́͡ͅͅǫ͖̞͌͌́ ̜̮̘̞̜̊̈̉̚͞ǫ̡̣̝̬̽̀̀̄͗ ͚̺̼̞̎̄͌͊̎͜ ̡̞͚͕̎̀̔̏ ̣̙͗̽͢͡d ̛̙̲̗̦͊̒ȯ̭̫̗̳̑͗ ̫̒ò̧̹̝̑̆̑ͅ ̡̙̜̩͙̑͒͊̕̚ ͓̗̻̋̽̓ ̬͖̏͑f̖̯̺͂̉̋̈ͅ ̨̥͎̒̓͌á̦͕ ͎̀r͍̆ ͓͊t̤͍̼̏̓̔_ **

**_truekalosqueen_: @15YearsWasted** **@MemeMaster @smolbean.but.mean @nini_is_trying @bluehair-dontcare** COME BACK IM _SCARED_

**softboyuwu:** ash how did u do that

**thirstygay:** fiesta salsa quinceañera baila  🤪

**softboyuwu:** siente el ritmo ponte a sonreír  🥰

**thirstygay:** wait sawyer u speak spanish

**softboyuwu:** uhhhh not really

**softboyuwu:** i only know that song for the  _ m e m e s _

**softboyuwu:** but my mom’s hispanic ig

**thirstygay:** _ w a c k _

**tienro:** wait then what’s ur dad

**softboyuwu:** italian

**tienro:** oop

**dumbhoe:** ITALIANO  🤪 PIZZA  😤 PEPPERONI  🤤 SPAGHETTI  😌 LASAGNA  🤣 MEATBALL  😍

**softboyuwu:** literally shut up

**cheeto-puff:** that bad neighborhoods of italy are called the spaghetto

**softboyuwu:** FHSGSGSHSHSG

**Mother:** TREVOR PLEASE—

**thirstygay:** im in tha spaghetto  🤪

**dumbhoe:** ra 👌 ta 👌 ta 👌 taaaa 👌

**softboyuwu:** STOOOOPPPP

**_truekalosqueen_:** no one: italians when they speak:  👌

**softboyuwu:** why are we just picking on italians now

**thirstygay:** it was inevitable

**tienro:** sawyer

**softboyuwu:** yis

**tierno:** how are u italian

**tierno:** and so damn skinny

**tienro:** like wtf

**tienro:** italians literally eat pasta their whole lives and yet i can see ur mf ribs when u take off ur shirt how is that  _ possible _

**softboyuwu:** u wanna know how tierno

**tienro:** yes please

**softboyuwu:** its because my parents  _ sTARVED ME AS A CHILD _

**tienro:** oh

**softboyuwu:** AND CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF I DONT EAT PASTA 24/7

**softboyuwu:** AND U WANNA KNOW WHY U CAN SEE MY RIBS WHEN I TAKE OFF MY SHIRT  _ TIERNO _

**softboyuwu:** ITS BECAUSE OF MY FUCKING MALNUTRITION

**softboyuwu:** and thats on child abuse  😌✌ ️

**tienro:** FHSGSGSGZHGSGSGS

**thirstygay:** IM FUCKING CRYING I COULD  _ HEAR  _ SAWYER’S RAGE THROUGH THAT MESSAGE

**Mother:** I don’t know whether to laugh or be concerned....

**dumbhoe:** SAWYER ARE U OKAY?????

**softboyuwu:** physically? yes

**softboyuwu:** mentally? no

**dumbhoe:** do u need a hug  🥺

**softboyuwu:** kinda  🥺

**dumbhoe:** im coming w/ cuddles asap!!

**dumbhoe:** just dont give me corona again

**softboyuwu:** fhsgsgsgsgsg i wont

**_nini_is_trying_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**thirstygay:** about time

**nini_is_trying:** I JUST SCROLLED UP

**nini_is_trying:** SAWYER R U OKAY???

**nini_is_trying:** DO WE NEED TO CALL THE POLICE???

**softboyuwu:** no no no im okay!!

**softboyuwu:** my parents aren’t really apart of my life anymore. i live with my aunt now!

**nini_is_trying:** oh thank arceus i was so scared

**tienro:** shit man im sorry i had no idea

**softboyuwu:** its okay sorry i yelled i didnt mean to sound so angry

**tienro:** its completely fine! i shouldnt have said anything lmao

**_15YearsWasted_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**_smolbean.but.mean_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**_bluehair-dontcare_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**_MemeMaster_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**thirstygay:** oh lawd here they come

**smolbean.but.mean:** and on this episode of: unpacking emotional baggage in the group chat....

**softboyuwu:** FHSGSGSGZG IM SORRY YALL

**nini_is_trying:** dont apologize!! u have every right to talk about ur feelings!!

**softboyuwu:** thanks nini  🥺

**bluehair-dontcare:** is ash actually at ur house rn?

**_softboyuwu_ ** _ has sent a picture to the chat! [ _ **_mybestfriend_ ** **_🥺_ ** **_.png_ ** _ ] _

**softboyuwu:** of course!

**thirstygay:** oh yall  _ cuddling cuddling _

**15YearsWasted:** why do i feel like ash and sawyer are the type of people to literally kiss each other goodnight and then say “no homo”

**softboyuwu:** FHSGSGSGSGSG

**dumbhoe:** im sobbing thats literally us

**tienro:** do yall actually kiss each other goodnight

**dumbhoe:** no but

**softboyuwu:** DGZGZGZGXGXFSFS

**softboyuwu:** _ wow okay _

**thirstygay:** uhhh what just happened???

**dumbhoe:** _ nothing that should concern u _

**softboyuwu:** _ nothing that should concern u _

**dumbhoe:** oh shit jinx

**softboyuwu:** damnit

**thirstygay:** FUCK I WANNA KNOWWW

**dumbhoe:** ;))

**15YearsWasted:** serena and trevor really ghosted this chat huh  😔

**_truekalosqueen_:** DHSGZGZGSG IM SORRY

**_truekalosqueen_:** that was a lot to take in

**_truekalosqueen_:** sawyer if u ever need someone to talk to we’re always here  🥺

**cheeto-puff:** ^^^ what she said

**cheeto-puff:** parents just really suck sometimes but trust me it gets better

**cheeto-puff:** and don’t hesitate to say anything if u need someone to talk to  💕

**softboyuwu:** omg u guys are so sweet im gonna cry fhdgxgx

**softboyuwu:** thank yall so much  🥺

**cheeto-puff:** np fam <3

**_truekalosqueen_:** luv u no hetero  ❤ ️ ❤ ️

**Mother:** What they said!

**Mother:** Sawyer please take care of yourself and know that you are loved  ❤ ️

**softboyuwu:** okay im actually crying now

**dumbhoe:** STOP CRYING

**dumbhoe:** STOPPP

**dumbhoe:** I WILL PUNCH U WITH FRIENDSHIP

**thirstygay:** that was so aggressively wholesome

**15YearsWasted:** sawyer u good?

**softboyuwu:** ye

**15YearsWasted:** alRIGHT

**15YearsWasted:** now that our emotional baggage is unpacked for the day

**softboyuwu:** fhdgxgsgsgsg

**15YearsWasted:** i have an announcement to make!

**cheeto-puff:** ?

**thirstygay:** owo

**tienro:** did

**tienro:** did u just owo on main????

**thirstygay:** im sorry

**15YearsWasted:** we’re having a slumber party!!!

**thirstygay:** OwO

**tienro:** shauna pls

**thirstygay:** sorry happened again

**_truekalosqueen_:** sounds like fun!!

**Mother:** where?

**MemeMaster:** Professor Sycamore is letting us have it at the lab

**dumbhoe:** bro lit

**softboyuwu:** thanks grandpa

**15YearsWasted:** this Saturday

**15YearsWasted:** at 6

**15YearsWasted:** the most epic slumber party

**15YearsWasted:** IS HAPPENING

**_truekalosqueen_:** yay!!!

**cheeto-puff:** sounds fun im in

**thirstygay:** ^^^

**tienro:** if theyre going then i guess im going too

**thirstygay:** hee hee

**tienro:** ew

**thirstygay:** sorry

**Mother:** Is this what y’all were planning?

**smolbean.but.mean:** maaaaaybeeee

**dumbhoe:** why did yall plan it without us? :(

**bluehair-dontcare:** bc no one likes u ash

**dumbhoe:** :((

**dumbhoe:** r00d

**dumbhoe:** but i’ll be there lmao

**softboyuwu:** me too!!!

**Mother:** I guess I’m going

**_truekalosqueen_:** same!!

**15YearsWasted:** then its settled!!

**15YearsWasted:** the gays are taking over the lab!!!

**dumbhoe:** hell yeah!

**bluehair-dontcare:** not all of us are gay tho :/

**_truekalosqueen_:** miette...

**thirstygay:** m i e t t e

**nini_is_trying:** _ miette _

**bluehair-dontcare:** what?

**_truekalosqueen_:** nothing...

**Mother:** y’alls gaydars are sTRONG

**thirstygay:** takes one to know one ig

**bluehair-dontcare:** WAIT WHAT

**_truekalosqueen_:** aNYWAYS

**_truekalosqueen_:** so im having um

**_truekalosqueen_:** a conundrum

**bluehair-dontcare:** SERENA DONT JUST IGNORE ME

**softboyuwu:** whats wrong?

**_truekalosqueen_:** well i woke up this morning

**bluehair-dontcare:** ASSHOLE

**_truekalosqueen_:** and i stood up out of bed

**_truekalosqueen_:** and i got really light headed for some reason :/

**dumbhoe:** do you have enema?

**tienro:** UMMMM ASH????

**cheeto-puff:** _ EXCUSE ME WHAT— _

**thirstygay:** _ say sike rn say sike rn say sike rn say sike rn say sike rn say sike rn _

**dumbhoe:** *anema

**dumbhoe:** **aneima

**dumbhoe:** ***ahnema

**dumbhoe:** ****ahkneemea

**dumbhoe:** clemont how the hell do u spell it

**Mother:** It’s actually ‘anemia’ Ash

**Mother:** but good try

**dumbhoe:** thank

**cheeto-puff:** oh thank ARCEUS

**tienro:** I WAS GONNA SAY—

**softboyuwu:** im lost :/

**_truekalosqueen_:** ur not the only one

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**tienro:** oh no

**thirstygay:** oh lawd he comin

**Grandpa: @cheeto-puff** ,  **@tienro** ,  **@thirstygay** How do you guys know what that is?

**thirstygay:** u already know professor ;)

**Grandpa:** ...

**thirstygay:** _ for legal reasons that’s a joke _

**_thirstygay_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**Grandpa:** Anyways...

**Grandpa:** Tierno and Trevor

**tienro:** yes sir?

**Grandpa:** You still didn’t answer my question

**cheeto-puff:** i think the real question is...

**cheeto-puff:** how do  _ YOU _ know what that is????

**Grandpa:** ...

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**cheeto-puff:** hah

**cheeto-puff:** gotcha bitch

**nini_is_trying:** trevor u shouldnt talk about ur fatherly figure like that!!!

**cheeto-puff:** its all in good fun i still love him!!!  🥺

**smolbean.but.mean:** whats an enema?

**cheeto-puff:** ...

**tienro:** ...

**tienro:** bonnie-

**Mother:** Prepare to meet your end, fuckers

**tienro:** SHIT

**_tienro_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**_cheeto-puff_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**dumbhoe:** RUN BITCH RUUNNNN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usernames:  
> Prof. Sycamore- Grandpa  
> Ash- dumbhoe  
> Serena- _truekalosqueen_  
> Clemont- Mother  
> Bonnie- smolbean.but.mean  
> Shauna- thirstygay  
> Tierno- tienro  
> Trevor- cheeto-puff  
> Sawyer- softboyuwu  
> Alain- MemeMaster  
> Mairin- 15YearsWasted  
> Miette- bluehair-dontcare  
> Nini- nini_is_trying


	11. The Secret Game (filler chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _truekalosqueen_: okay, who thinks i’m pretty?
> 
> Thinks Serena is pretty: ... technically we all do
> 
> Still isn’t out to their parents: shauna
> 
> Thinks Serena is pretty: BITCH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is basically a filler chapter b4 the slumber party chapter  
> ~*~  
> ATTENTION!!!! PLEASE STOP TO READ!!!!!  
> ~*~  
> hi, it's leaf and i'm sorry for not being active. as you may or may not know there a protests and riots happening in the U.S. right now for the BLM movement. also, as you may or may not know i live in the U.S. so this has a big impact on my life. i never usually talk about this stuff, but i feel like i should use my platforms to spread the word. i'm a huge supporter of the BLM movement. always have, and always will be. the reason i haven't been so active is because i've been trying my best to help out in the best ways i can. i've been signing petitions, spreading the word, and voicing about it on my social media. i don't ask much of my followers but i do ask of you to help out as well! whether you live in the U.S. or not, every voice helps! you can sign petitions, spread the word, donate money, or even go out and protest! this movement has made a huge impact on my country, and i want to make an even bigger impact in the future! please help us change a corrupt system! if you are interested, let me know in the comments or DM me on any of my social media platforms so i can give you links to petitions to sign as a start. thank you for reading. black lives ALWAYS matter and stay safe everyone <3 <3
> 
> and please, enjoy the chapter :)
> 
> \- Leaf <3

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has joined the chat! _

**Grandpa:** Good evening students! Bonnie and I have made up a little game to play before you guys’ big party!

**thirstygay:** oh no

**_truekalosqueen_:** oh no

**Mother:** _ oh no _

**smolbean.but.mean:** dw!! u guys will like it!!!

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has changed  _ **_11_ ** _ usernames! _

**Grandpa:** I’ve changed all of your names to a secret! Bonnie helped me find this information out! Y’all have to guess each other’s secrets without saying who you are! Good luck!

**Thinks Serena is pretty:** that’s dumb

**Thinks Serena is pretty:** ... okay this is mega dumb

**Had a FNAF phase:** professor i dont think this is a good idea!!

**Had a FNAF phase:** ... so we gon play games now

**Stared at someone’s butt for 10 mins:** HAHAHA

**Stared at someone’s butt for 10 mins:** oh wait shit

**Gay awakening was Steven Stone:** ooh! i wanna see what mine is!!

**Gay awakening was Steven Stone:** ... never mind

**Once watched robot porn:** I have a feeling I know who that is

**Once watched robot porn:** IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I SWEAR

**Has a crush on Charli D’amelio:** _ excuse me what _

**Has a crush on Charli D’amelio:** this is targeting!!

**Still isn’t out to their parents:** kinda scared ngl?

**Still isn’t out to their parents:** caught me red handed lmao

**Is afraid of ghosts:** these are all so random

**Is afraid of ghosts:** gee thanks guys

**smolbean.but.mean:** np

**Still in the closet:** ha! who’s afraid of ghosts lmao

**Still in the closet:** IM. NOT. GAY!!!

**Burnt toast and cried about it:** def know who that is

**Burnt toast and cried about it:** i was having a bad day!!!

**Watches Barbie Life in the Dream House:** ... Guess I should check mine

**Watches Barbie Life in the Dream House:** ...

**Grandpa:** I believe that’s everyone, so start guessing!!

**Once watched robot porn:** I think I have a pretty solid guess

**Grandpa:** Let’s hear it!

**Once watched robot porn: @Gay awakening was Steven Stone** is Sawyer

**Grandpa:** Correct!

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Gay awakening was Steven Stone’s_ ** _ username to  _ **_softboyuwu_ ** _! _

**softboyuwu:** it was pretty obvious

**Stared at someone’s butt for 10 mins:** i rly wanna know who the robot porn one is

**Once watched robot porn:** ... no you don’t

**Burnt toast and cried about it:** can i guess??

**Grandpa:** Sure!

**Burnt toast and cried about it: @Still in the closet** is miette!!!

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Still in the closet_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_bluehair-dontcare_ ** _! _

**bluehair-dontcare:** I DONT WHY YALL THINK IM GAY BUT IM NOT 

**smolbean.but.mean:** did i forget to mention these secrets are 100% accurate???

**smolbean.but.mean:** i could even put them through a lie detector test if u want!

**bluehair-dontcare:** ...

**_bluehair-dontcare_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**Thinks Serena is Pretty:** we all saw it coming

**Has a crush on Charli D’amelio:** yup

**Watches Barbie Life in the Dream House:** I believe the Charli D’amelio one is Serena because she’s talked about her before

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Has a crush on Charli D’amelio_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **__truekalosqueen__ ** _! _

**_truekalosqueen_:** can y’all blame me tho?

**Thinks Serena is pretty:** nah

**_truekalosqueen_:** okay, who thinks i’m pretty?

**Thinks Serena is pretty:** ... technically we all do

**Still isn’t out to their parents:** shauna

**Thinks Serena is pretty:** BITCH

**_Grandpa_ ** _ changed  _ **_Thinks Serena is pretty_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_thirstygay_ ** _! _

**_truekalosqueen_:** aww shauna! ur pretty too!  🥺

**Still isn’t out to their parents:** yea but like... she thinks ur pretty in a  _ different way _

**_truekalosqueen_:** hm?

**Still isn’t out to their parents:** never mind

**thirstygay:** is  **@Still isn’t out to their parents** trevor?

**Still isn’t out to their parents:** nah

**thirstygay:** damn

**thirstygay:** well whoever it is i’m beating ur ass

**Still isn’t out to their parents:** now i rly dont want mine to be revealed

**Stared at someone’s butt for 10 mins:** urs isnt even that bad

**Still isn’t out to their parents:** tru tru

**Had a FNAF phase:** the butt one is ash bc he’s literally talked about staring at sawyer’s butt

**softboyuwu:** ...

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Stared at someone’s butt for 10 mins_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_dumbhoe_ ** _! _

**dumbhoe:** BITCH

**thirstygay:** 10 mins ash  _ really _ ????

**dumbhoe:** u gotta do what u gotta do

**dumbhoe:** also if im going down then ur going down w/ me hoe

**Had a FNAF phase:** oh no

**dumbhoe: @Had a FNAF phase** is trevor bc i knocked on his window at 2am once and he was wearing a fnaf shirt

**Had a FNAF phase:** BITCH

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Had a FNAF phase_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_cheeto-puff_ ** _! _

**_truekalosqueen_:** a fnaf shirt???

**cheeto-puff:** i wear old t-shirts to bed

**cheeto-puff:** sue me

**Is afraid of ghosts:** i think the more important question is

**Is afraid of ghosts:** ash why were u knocking on his window at 2am???

**dumbhoe:** i wanted to bother someone but i couldn’t bother sawyer coz his aunt kicked me out and clemont was locked away in the lumiose tower doing whateva he does so i just chose the next closest person

**softboyuwu:** its true

**softboyuwu:** ash randomly leaves his house in the middle of the night to go bother people

**dumbhoe:** its a fun hobby

**cheeto-puff:** _ no its not _

**cheeto-puff:** also

**cheeto-puff:** babe im so sorry for this but  **@Is afraid of ghosts** is tierno

**Is afraid of ghosts:** oof

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Is afraid of ghosts_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_tienro_ ** _! _

**tienro:** ghosts are scary as shit alright

**_truekalosqueen_:** fax doe

**Still isn’t out to their parents:** _ no??? _

**softboyuwu:** okay so

**Still isn’t out to their parents:** oh no

**tienro:** u kno sawyer’s about to type a whole ass paragraph when he says “okay so”

**dumbhoe:** its the equivalent to gays using their hands to speak

**cheeto-puff:** _ im surprised ash knows what equivalent means??? _

**softboyuwu:** i can make a list of the ppl in the chat who arent cis or straight and using process of elimination i can say that everyone who’s been exposed is out to their parents. the only people who arent exposed and arent cis or straight is clemont, mairin, and nini. however i know for a fact clemont is out to his dad so i can eliminate him. im not sure about nini but shes never unloaded family issues onto the chat like the rest of us so im gonna take a guess and say that she has no problem about coming out to her parents.

**dumbhoe:** i had a stroke trying to read that

**cheeto-puff:** ash you have strokes trying to read in general

**softboyuwu:** so my conclusion is that  **@Still isn’t out to their parents** is mairin

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Still isn’t out to their parents_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_15YearsWasted_ ** _! _

**15YearsWasted:** nice work detective

**softboyuwu:** thx

**thirstygay:** ur still not out to ur parents mairin?

**15YearsWasted:** nah

**15YearsWasted:** im never rly around them, but when i am they use the wrong pronouns and shit

**thirstygay:** _ f _

**_truekalosqueen_:** so who’s left?

**tienro:** barbie, burnt toast, and robot porn

**dumbhoe:** im gonna take a wild guess and say the burnt toast one is nini bc she seems like the type to do that

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Burnt toast and cried about it_ ** _ ’s username to  _ **_nini_is_trying_ ** _! _

**thirstygay:** ???

**nini_is_trying:** like i said i was having a bad day :(

**thirstygay:** understandable have a lovely evening

**dumbhoe:** so its between barbie and robot porn

**softboyuwu:** and those are either clemont or alain

**thirstygay:** awww they even finish each other’s sentences

**dumbhoe:** what

**thirstygay:** what

**Watches Barbie Life in the Dream House:** Let me just say, I’m not proud of mine...

**Once watched robot porn:** same...

**15YearsWasted:** the barbie one is alain bc literally no one else besides the professor types like that

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Watches Barbie Life in the Dream House_ ** _ to  _ **_MemeMaster_ ** _! _

**MemeMaster:** Mairin...

**15YearsWasted:** i dont even wanna know

**MemeMaster:** ... It’s quite entertaining

**dumbhoe:** so

**dumbhoe:** SO IS ROBOT PORN CLEMONT

**Once watched robot porn:** ...

**_Grandpa_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Once watched robot porn_ ** _ to  _ **_Mother_ ** _! _

**dumbhoe:** CLEM!?!?!?

**softboyuwu:** FHDGSGZG

**tienro:** HAHAHAHAHA

**_truekalosqueen_:** im deeply concerned...

**Mother:** ... I can explain

**cheeto-puff:** pls do

**Mother:** so I was watching a tutorial video on a suspicious website about how to give Clembot some new upgrades

**Mother:** and I accidentally clicked on a suspicious link

**Mother:** and it took me to...  _ robo porn _

**tienro:** _ r o b o p o r n ?!??! _

**thirstygay:** IM GONNA PISS MYSELF AAHAHAH

**_15YearsWasted_ ** _ has changed the chat name to [ _ **_robo porn_ ** _ ]! _

**15YearsWasted:** we love to see it

**Mother:** _ no we don’t _

**Grandpa:** A tad bit inappropriate, but I’ll let it slide!

**Grandpa:** So, what did everyone think of the game?

**cheeto-puff:** professor?

**Grandpa:** Yes?

**cheeto-puff:** can we please never do that again

**thirstygay:** agreed

**_truekalosqueen_:** same

**softboyuwu:** ^^^

**smolbean.but.mean:** aw come on guys! admit it was a teensy bit fun!

**smolbean.but.mean:** dont ya think so big brother??

**Mother:** ...

**_Mother_ ** _ has left the chat! _

**smolbean.but.mean:** hee hee

**15YearsWasted:** well on that note...

**15YearsWasted:** see you guys at the slumber party!

  
**dumbhoe:** see ya!

**Author's Note:**

> sorry not sorry


End file.
